May 1, 2013

The simplest, most effective way to deal with sh*tty experiences.


I handle stress about as well as a 2yr old handles her toys being taken off her. Not well.

I had this one experience not long ago where everything just seemed to go wrong. It felt like no matter what I did or how much I tried to make it better (with meditation, forgiveness, good thoughts etc) it would not improve. In fact it got worse!

So I switched to complaining, b*tching and getting what I really thought off my chest thinking that maybe that's what I needed to do. That didn't work either.

It's like the universe was literally taking a giant sh*t on my face (Excuse the vulgarity, but that's exactly what I blurted out to a friend. We both laughed hysterically).

But ya know, it's inevitable that we're all gonna have those moments in life when sh*t hits the fan and we just gotta deal with it the best we can.

As you might imagine, that didn't sit too well with me.

So instead I went looking for (more) solutions.

Maybe you found out your boyfriend has cheated on you or maybe you had a fight with your mother. You could have just made the most epic mistake at work or just seem to have one sh*t thing happening after the other to you. Either way I am proud to announce that I FINALLY discovered a simple (yet effective) way to deal with those experiences.

WARNING: You may not like it because it requires action on your part.


How to Eliminate Stress & Feeling Like Sh*t all the Time


1) Ask yourself, "How did this experience make me feel?", and write down everything you felt.


Was it anger, frustration or helplessness? Did you feel like you just wanted to burst out in tears? Did you just want to scream or hit something? Get specific and just run it like pure consciousness. This is an insanely awesome exercise to get those deep set feelings off your chest and out of you.

2) Knowing how it made you feel, now write down how would prefer to feel instead.

If this situation could have gone differently, would you have prefered to feel at ease, stressless or relaxed? Would you rather feel at peace or just forget the whole thing? This part of the exercise is crucial to helping you feel better about it.

3) And lastly referring to the previous list, what are 2 - 3 things that you can do right now that would make you feel better?

This is not about finding solutions, it's about finding a way for YOU to feel better right now. So if you prefered to feel relaxed, maybe you could take a bath or go and get a massage. If you wrote down that you'd be happier if you felt at ease, maybe a meditation session is a great idea or buying yourself some beautiful flowers for your dining room.

This is my instant stress-solver, sure it doesn't eliminate the actual sh*tty situation that has happened, but it's never about the situation in the first place. It's about how YOU feel about what's happened.

So if you can get yourself into a better feeling place about this stressful experience by using this exercise, you my dear have successfully learned how to think in a completely new way.


Your action plan today is to tell me what is one thing you are going to do to make yourself feel better in your stressful situation. What is something that'd make you feel FANTASTIC right now? I bet it's not moping in bed!

6 comments:

  1. I just let go off a really stressful few days by dancing around to room to Beyonce! Lol Nothing a bit of Beyonce can't fix!
    Who'll run the world...Girls
    Who'll run the world... Girls
    Who'll run this mother fucking world!
    :)

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    1. OMG BEYONCE!!!!!!!
      I honestly believe dancing to some Beyonce cures EVERYTHING.
      Preach it sister! ;) x

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  2. Honestly every day I wake up I stand with my arms wide open and ask that my heart be filled with joy and it show in my face :) Every day. Some days the light may be alittle dim but I believe it's there :) Shine on!

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    1. I really love this Jean. Such a powerful exercise to do!
      There's this really beautiful mantra in Crazy Sexy Diet that you can say every morning that goes like "May all beings everywhere be happy and may I contribute to that happiness in some way today".
      I'm definitely gonna try add those two things together in the mornings. Thank you for this! xx

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  3. this is a great post Elise! reason being is because when we are feeling sh*ty, its simply not realistic to "know" the solution or automatically get to an "amazing feeling place." the point is to shift ourselves gradually into a better feeling place. one thing i do is to point out a few good things about the situation. and guess what- those good things (however few) are ALWAYS there ;)

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