"I want LOVE but there is NO decent guy in sight!"

Hands up if this is what you believe.. Holla! This was me a few years ago - no kidding.

I have had many a time where I have pleaded with god, buddha, the universe, some fucking goatherd in the Himalayas to just send me a man full of love to give (because I. just. couldn't. give it to myself).

And every single time without fail, I got the guy that was NOT full of the good lovin' and had way. too. many. issues going on.

Argh. Is this you now? Maybe it's just barren land with no sign of life on the horizon.. Or maybe there IS something (or someone) but you seem to have developed expert repelling powers..

Oy vey, what's a girl to do?

Time to chill out and get off the hate train.

I yearned for a loving relationship for sooo damn long, but the truth was that deep down I didn't even like men. I thought they were liars and cheats and I treated them like they were.

Seriously attractive.

I guarded myself, I was hurtful with my words and I was unkind in many ways even if I was "only joking".

I was working in America at the time when a guy I hardly knew started chatting to me one day and asked, "Elise, why are you so mean to guys?".

I had no idea what he was talking about.

"What? I'm not mean to guys."

"Do you not like men?"

"Yeah of course, why?"

"You have a really strange way of showing it."

"What do you mean?"

"Insults, little digs here and there and making fun.."

"Huh? Oh noooo, I'm just joking when I do that!"

"Yeah well, next time think about what you say and do because it actually hurts and no one wants to be around someone that constantly makes them feel bad."

Triple slap in the face.

I thought this was INSANE because all I wanted was a relationship!

That was the start of my journey to healing myself and the vicious self-sabotaging pattern I had.

It took months and months of work on myself to get me into a better feeling place about myself. And coincidentally that's when the magic started to happen!

I met men of all kinds! Funny, kind, sensitive and just so much fun to be around. And best of all? They all dug the hell outta me, Cause I dug myself. Woo!

So if you just saw a lot of yourself in there but what you really want to manifest is a loving relationship, here's what I want you to start working on.

Practice kindness with your word and actions.

I'm sure you will have seen what positive words do to a child. Telling a little innocent being that their crazy blue squiggle painting is the most AMAZING thing you've ever seen on the entire planet makes their whole spirit shine.

And guess what? You're still that same being!

Practice kindness towards yourself: It could be whispering sweet self love mantras to yourself when you're resting, it could be showering yourself with love by taking a relaxing bath, letting the self-berating go for once or making yourself a beautiful gift like a chocolate cake!

Practice kindness with others (especially men): Give compliments, express affection, if you meet a guy that seems 'SO not your type' - be grateful to have at least met him. Use your words and actions as imaginary hugs, not swords.

Manifesting a beautiful, loving and honest relationship was sooooooo far out of reach because the only vibration I was giving off was that 'I'm not worth my own love so feel free to come and shit all over me'.

It took me learning to be kinder to myself first to start healing my own wounds. And from that I was able to open up more and express kindness onto other men.

And now? I am in the most incredible relationship with a man who out of everyone in the world chose to love and adore me!

Your action step for today

Now in the comments below, I would like to know from you one thing you can do today to practice more kindness to yourself? And bonus question, what is one way you could be kinder to men?

You can do it sweetie!

Elise xo

How I Went From “Woe is Me” to “WOW, That’s Me!!”

Guest Post by Eyenie Schultz

One day after school as all the kids left, I walked alone to start heading home. I thought nobody was on the playground until I suddenly heard, “Hey Eyenie!”

"Yeah?” I said, looking up.

“You’re pretty!”

Ok…had I just heard that? Elation and giddiness came over me. It turned instantly bitter when the other verbal shoe dropped with, “UGLY! Hahaha! You’re PRETTY UGLY!”

Though I felt humiliated, these boys weren’t telling me anything new, but simply confirming what I already thought about myself.

Though my family has always been supportive and lovely, somehow they inadvertently made me believe that in order to be “enough” I needed to be beautiful, and I saw nothing beautiful about myself.

So, I developed this whole set of beliefs in my head that were based on the assumption, “Eyenie is ugly and not enough.” You can imagine what sorts of other thoughts this lead to…

I tried to exceed in other areas and please everyone as much as possible (which is impossible, let’s face it); it was exhausting. I was the good girl, dutiful, the person you could always count on, no matter how uncomfortable it was for me. I became a self-deprecating doormat and thought that it was much more important to make sure everyone around me was ok. And worst of all, I was always chipper and happy-go-lucky, but didn’t understand how people could feel joy or be happy…

I sure wasn’t! I got small bursts of what seemed like happiness when receiving accolades, or solving problems, or getting approval… all from someone else.

As soon as I finished university I decided to leave Colorado, where I grew up, in order to find happiness. I went to New York. Then Los Angeles. I tried New Orleans, France…I left every place feeling miserable and empty. One day it dawned on me: if all these amazing places and people I was meeting couldn’t make me happy, then something inside of me needed to change!

This simple notion created a huge shift, and I started learning about ways to change from within. I’ve put together a list of the tools that have helped me love myself. They support me on a daily basis so I can R A D I A T E to my fullest potential. Some of my faves are:

1.) Do as much as you can from a space of LOVE and not FEAR. When your decisions are fear-based, you’re not living your truth or stepping into your power or owning your strengths. Stop acting on fear, and love yourself enough to do what’s best for you…even if others don’t like it.

2.) “Thoughts are like raindrops. Would you argue with a raindrop?” ~ Byron Katie. Well, would you? Other people’s thoughts are simply that: other people’s thoughts. They do not define who or what you are, what you can or can’t do, your worth, etc.

3.) People don’t make me feel bad; I make myself feel bad! If someone says something, I can let it hurt me…or, I can remember # 2 and decide not to let someone else’s thought or vision affect me and my experience.

4.) Happiness is a choice, and “if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice” ~Rush. If you’re not feeling happy or joyful, you have the choice to do something that will make you feel good

5.) You are beautiful, even if you don’t fit everyone’s standards. There are many lovely things about you; take the time to pay attention! 

6.) Your focus creates your reality. If you only focus on your perceived shortcomings, or what isn’t right in your life, that’s all you will see! When you start focusing on what you do have going for you, and what is right with your life, you’ll find that starts expanding! 

7.) Allow yourself some “want” and stop “shoulding all over yourself”! Doing things you LOVE makes you the best possible you! And when you’re that version of yourself, you are a love, abundance, happiness and positivity magnet!

What’s holding you back from feeling beautiful and really living a life you love? How can you take action today, even with a simple mindset shift?


Eyenie Schultz {pronounced “eh-zjeh-knee” or like “Jenny” with an “eh” before it} is a Certified Confidence Coach & Razzle-Dazzle living expert who helps women feel at home within themselves so they can love, live and thrive anywhere in the world. 

After years of chasing happiness, she realized it could only be found through self-love and confidence from within. 

Today, Eyenie lives in a tiny medieval village in France, and is happier than ever before. She knows how to use her magic tool kit to sprinkle every day with razzle-dazzle, pizzazz, flow and ease…and she ecstatically helps her clients do exactly the same!!

To download the “Thought-Shifter” worksheet, a free gift, and learn more about Eyenie and her services, visit www.lucidmusing.com.