As my 24th birthday approaches (14th of August if you're feeling gift-givey! I'll take any form of ASOS voucher.. :P) I'm having feelings pop up every now and then..
I like to call them fear monsters.
These mythical nightmare-like creatures come out when you're left alone with your mind for too long. They taunt you with things like..
"Holy crap, You're turning 24 and you are not where you thought you'd be."
"OMG, I thought I'd have my shit together by now!"
"What the hell, I was only 17 yesterday!?!"
WATCH OUT, they creep in when you're vulnerable and least expecting it!
I know you know what I'm talking about!
I did some research and dug deep *cough*google*cough* and if you're already banging your head on a wall from the monsters - STOP.
You need to know this.
No one actually has their shit together. No one, no where. Period.
I learned this very early on when my first acting teacher whom I was flatting with had a mental breakdown, overdosed on sleeping pills where I had to rush her to the hospital.
Peeps only seem like they do because they've got everything you don't. But, uncertainty lives within everyone and it never goes away. True story!
So friend, stop beating yourself up for an unrealistic expectation you created for yourself when you were 13. Just let it go and take on these 4 Steps to Busting your 'Expectation' Fears once and for all!
Fear = Action. Okay brace yourself for what I'm about to say... Fear is
If you thought you'd be sippin' margaritas in the bahamas by now and instead you're working 60 hour weeks at your local supermarket for less than minimum wage, start looking up online e-courses to help you create the cash to have your dream lifestyle, join a sports club you've been dying to join, buy those skinny clothes you're going to wear once you drop those kilos!
What is the point of living in the now if you hate it? So live for the ultimate version of yourself. The one you "thought" you'd be. Live as if you were that person now.
Go bananas! Put your favourite playlist on, get up and bounce your butt round the room. Get down like Beyonce. Dance till you can't dance no more.
Dancing (bonus if it's goofy dancing) instantly makes you happier but also cuts the pattern of the 'fear monster thoughts'.
So next time you find the monster creepin' up on you. Dance. Dance like a mofo! Or just exercise.. whatevz.
Meet with yo' peeps: Get with your girls or your boys and talk it out. Not only have I continually found it incredibly healthy to talk about my worries with my girlfriends, but I also discovered that they had all been going through the exact same things.
Everyone has fear, doubt and uncertainty, you'll never be alone on that one. You just like to think you are.. So call your bff up and arrange a coffee date right now. Communication is more than key, it's the answer!
Keep doing what's good: Well obviously right? But I honestly believe there are some peeps out there who actually prefer to carry on punishing themselves (Uh, hello job that I despise but spend 90% of my time at..)
If something isn't working and you're not enjoying it, STOP DOING IT. Fill your time with the things that feel good to you, that make you do better, that's one of the quickest ways to "get your shit together", by doing the things you enjoy. Shock horror.
If you're wondering why some people seem like they have it all figured out, don't look at their wallets, their fancy house or their relationships. Look to the inside. They do the things that make them the happiest, they take chances on the things they really want, they take action when it's necessary and they communicate when it's not working.
That's the secret recipe for busting your fears and living the successful life you 'thought' you'd be living right now!
So for today's lesson tell me in the comments below where you're letting the fear monsters creep up on you and what is the first bit of action you're going to take today to stop it?
