A Weird Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday.

It was full of delightful moments, over-flowing champagne, joyful company and a ton of gifts. The day was magnanimous to say the least. I am completely tickled pink with joy.

That's what you're supposed to say right?

I'm gonna level with you - it wasn't anything like that at all.

You generally have a ritual of how your birthday begins. For me it's being woken with a stolen kiss and a whispered "Happy Birthday my love.." while having gifts lovingly laid by my side. Then it's a 7:30am birthday call from Mum, a delicious breakfast cooked by my love followed by texts, messages and calls from loved ones wishing me a beautiful day.

NONE OF THAT HAPPENED.

Scott went to work at 5:45am, Mum facebooked me happy birthday not wanting to wake me on the phone, I opened my presents by myself, had to go to a meeting, no one at work wished me happy birthday - or even knew it was my birthday - and everyone I came across was in an 'off' mood.

It was a blow to the ego that's for sure.

All that kept running through my mind was, "This sucks".

I wanted to escape to a new reality where I had a beautiful party to host with my favourite people, and a dessert table adorned with pretty decorations. I imagined waltzing off to the beach where we spent hours splashing around, soaking up the sun, sipping cocktails and eating food that was made for the gods.

It felt good to escape for those few minutes, it felt fresh and new and fun - and that's when it hit me square between the eyes.

It felt good because it felt new.

"That's it!" I thought to myself, I've been so (unconsciously) stuck in the same place for quite a number of months now, nothing new has happened. In other words, I haven't been growing.

I immediately course-corrected my attitude, because I knew what I needed to do. Life is about growth and change and sometimes we get stuck because it's comfortable or because it freaks us out to do things differently.

I'm not saying everything will change in a matter of minutes, but there's 365 days to go till my next birthday and I'm going to make it a magical year of firsts, or, a year of growth.

And once I made my mind up, it was like everything slotted into place. I arrived home after work with my favourite people waiting for me, we snuck off to get vietnamese, watched our childhood classics, Jumanji and Space Jam, gobbled french birthday cake and trumpets.

None of it is what usually pans out on my birthday, it was all brand new, the perfect start to an exciting purposeful year.

Bring on the year of firsts!

Elise xo

Image from A Beautiful Mess

A Fresh Start

Here's to failure, mistakes and imperfection.

To lessons learned, and learned, and learned, and learned.

To the many excuses made.

And the many reasons believed.

To stubbornness, and all that it entails.

To fear and it's validated presence.

To the breaking of bad habits.

And the making of an iron fist in a velvet glove.

It's a brand new day.

It's time for a fresh start.

Bring on the creativity.


xo Elise

What's your unspoken relationship rule?

One thing I love about us is we instinctively know when we need to step up each other.

Like for instance, the other day - oh, who am I kidding - yesterday, it was the day from hell. All my plans and ideas shattered to smithereens - and all before lunch time might I add. I was so defeated, like a 7-year-old who just lost his 10th consecutive little league game. I just wanted to nail all the doors in my house shut, blind the light beaming into my room and hide under the sheets until the day was surely gone.

I moped and even added in a flood of tears for dramatic effect. I was relishing my victim mode. But no matter how much I tried to stay a victim, I couldn't.

Why?

Because Scott and I have an unspoken rule, that when one is spiralling downwards, the other becomes the strength to lead them back up.

So he picked me up off the bed (literally picked me up like I was 7-years-old), wiped away my tears, gave me a loving pep talk, helped me problem solve and instilled the courage within me that I needed to face this day.

Because in a relationship, sometimes you've gotta be the parent, the teacher, the therapist, the tough guy and the one that leads the way (even if you don't actually know the way).

I love this about us.


What's your unspoken relationship rule? Do you have one? Does it make your relationship stronger?

xo

7 Ways to Fall Madly In Love With Yourself

As you may well know, it's important to give your love to your friends, family and partners but it's also just as vitally important to give the good lovin' to yourself .

The saying goes "You gotta fill yourself up with love, so much so that you overflow and have an abundance to give to others". I read that somewhere but I can't remember where! Here's how you do it for yourself.

Create a morning ritual for yourself // Rituals are what you do every day, good or bad, that determine your life's conditions. So it's better to consciously do them than unconsciously. How to create your own morning ritual? Decide how you want your day to go and what you wanna feel like. Energized? Blissful? Badass? Sexy as hell? Then choose 1 - 3 things to do with your body, your focus and your words. So that could be getting straight out of bed, putting your trainers on and going for a run, or making a green smoothie, or singing your favourite song in your underwear. Whatever is gonna make you feel the way you wanna feel.

Eat and drink the foods that ACTUALLY make you happy! // I know you have them, so what are they? What beverages make you feel really good. Perhaps a soy latte? Maybe cucumber and grapefruit detox water? How about foods? What foods put you in a really good state? Is it carrots? What about sun dried tomatoes & feta on crackers? Monitor yourself for the next week on the food and drink you consume and how you feel after consuming them. Note down which of those made you feel good, then keep consuming more of your feel good foods!

Take breaks from technology // No BUTS! Too much of a good thing is always a bad thing. How often do you watch TV, listen to the radio, use the computer, laptop, ipad, ipod and cell phone? Every day I'm guessing? Shit, every minute I'll bet! Spend some time apart. Not only does this make you feel really good but you actually get that time to indulge in what you like (shopping, coffee with friends, one-on-one time with your beau..) I usually take the weekends off. I'll check the occasional email and fb update but I'm never on for more than 10 mins because the weekend is MY TIME.

Keep your negative thoughts on the downlow // A toughie but a goodie. Negativity can be like a virus, once you catch it it's bloody hard to get rid of but if you keep yourself healthy and well nourished, you won't get hit by the doom and gloom of it all. This TOTALLY applies to negative thoughts, negative talk, judging, gossiping and complaining - it's all the same. If you have a negative thought pop up, intercept it by placing a positive thought there instead. You can only think one thought at a time so make your thought space a positive place. You do that by focusing on your surroundings and finding something small that's positive to you. Maybe a flower, painting, the sky, a couple, anything.

Spread your love around with THICK layers // One of my favourites! Express your love to the people in your life. Whether it's your mum, dad, bff, siblings, partner, friends, pets, aunts, uncles, the person you passed while out running earlier today or the birds you fed on your lunch break. Spread it around because it is infectious and it attracts the good stuff. Remember how good you feel when you do something nice for a person and they are so grateful you literally fill up like a balloon of hot gooey caramel air? Yeah that's the good stuff, but imagine if it was 24/7??

Get your dancey dance on! // What girl doesn't love to jiggle her ass around a room? It doesn't have to be anywhere near perfect nor do you have to join a class. All you need to do is put on your favourite tunes and move that body in the most freely, loosely and un-co way. Go bat-shit! Go Will Smith!

Wear clothing that truly expresses who you are // None of these black, toned down layers BS. You are one hot, badass babe who has one sexy body to flaunt REGARDLESS of your size and shape. It makes a HUGE difference to a woman if she feels sexy in what she's wearing, so don't hide away or cheap yourself out of a hot outfit. You always deserve it.

What's one thing you're taking from this post and implementing into your life today? Get on it!


xo

How to Follow Your Dreams (& make them come true)

There are those who stopped searching, those that stopped believing, those who vanished in the dark - forever - never to return again. Are you one of those people?

Come back.

Come back to your dreams.

There is so much magic and wonder waiting for you.

The path is just around the corner.

Follow it.

Follow the path to your dreams..

1. Follow YOUR dreams, not others: Well duh, right? Yet sooo many people find themselves chasing what someone else wants or has told them to want. i.e people in relationships, well meaning parents etc. NO! No more! Get your own damn dream :P No but seriously, I hope you already have one. You gotta pursue what your gut wants.


2. Know that you're good enough to have your dream: So like, there's a lot of you out there who believe you don't actually deserve what you want. Wtf is that about? Um, you do, you always did, stop making excuses you dork. You're good enough. Always were. And I need you to believe it. 


3. Get excited about beginning: The beginning is the best bit! Everything's new and exciting, you get treated pretty special too and things just seem to fall into place easily to help you get on your track. 


4. Ignore the pessimists, critics and haters: When you're out there with your armor, your shield and your swords - you're always going to come across some bastard who wants to fight. Because it can't just be all rainbows and bunnies, can it? Some will say you shouldn't be there, others will hold you back, some will try to suck the life out of you - some will succeed. You gotta practice what I call, selective ignorance. Works like a charm.


5. Create a personal incantation: Like an actual pump yourself up pep-talk.


6. Stop comparing yourself to others: It's hard, I know. Your ex bestie just seems to have everything falling effortlessly into her lap, or so it seems from the outside. Just go do something else that gets your mind off it, cause it's a waste of time focusing your attention on something you can't change. Use those energy sources for YOUR shit, your dream, your path. Not someone elses. Wtf!?


7. Create a 'Dreams & Goals' Journal: Not only is it fun to have something to create, design and take with you everywhere but it's always a BOAT LOAD of fun to track your progress and have that constant positive reinforcement of your goals and that they are 100% real and valid. If that's too much of a hassle, use post-it notes and annoyingly stick em' up everywhere.


8. Write BIG clear goals: Write your goals out in your journal and make sure they are clear, specific and measurable. Think of how much and by when? Combine the SMART and BHAG goals and you've got a strong Mojito for success.


9. Create a Daily & Weekly Task List: Buy or create your own weekly calender with small tasks you can complete throughout the week towards your dream. Whether it's saving for your big OE or studying monologues for the theatre show you're in. Make sure you have at least 1 thing each day to work towards. Although it seems small to begin with, once you add them all up, you realize it's quite a big task you've completed.


10. Create your own motivation blueprint: Whatever it is that you believe that makes you work harder, better, faster, stronger - DO IT. This can be anything from having a specific ritual that you do each day like playing tennis, gardening or running naked around the house. Just do it.


11. Celebrate the small accomplishments: I'm all about celebrating the little pleasures, so it's no different here. Celebrate the little stepping stones in your journey to success. It's one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself and your sanity.


12. Find others just like you: No matter where you are or how much you believe you are on your own - this is a lie. There are maaaaaaaaaany others just like you who are pursuing their dreams and who want to know YOU. Search for facebook and linkedin groups, find inspirational people on twitter to follow, look in your local newspapers and magazines and read the local-spotlight articles, get in touch with those people who sound like someone you'd like to know. There's a huge big world out there just dying for you to dip your toes in, so let's get to it shall we?


13. Make a dream board on Pinterest: Getting creative is one of the funnest things about following your dreams. If you've got a Pinterest account, create for yourself a new board on your Dreams. Then search around on pinterest and google and find yourself inspirational images that show the essence of your dream to you. Then look at the board as much as you can and continue to add to it as your goal progresses on and gets bigger.


14. Study a role model you aspire to be like: Find someone that inspires you to be better. Someone who has morals, ethics and values that resonate with you and what you'd like to have. Study their success strategy, find out what they did, write to them, praise them and soon you will find yourself becoming someone as great as them - if not better.


15. Learn enthusiasm and confidence: Making your dreams come true is no doubt going to require some help from other people, directly or indirectly. To attract the right people to help you get there you need to start oozing enthusiasm, positivity and confidence - with a sneaky dash of smartass charm. We've all heard the saying 'fake it till you make it' and in this case it is most definitely true!


16. Use Visualization: Go a few years ahead from now and imagine where you will be after you've pursued your passions after all this time. How do you feel? Where are you? Who is with you? What can you smell? Taste? See? Go there and then rewind it back through the years to the present moment. While you're coming back, see the steps you took to get there. Now go out and take that action!


17. Open your heart and be authentic: Let your authenticity and creativity shine through with an open heart. It does amazing things for you.


18. Stay true to yourself: Don't be that guy who gets all famous and turns into a douche bag. Because once you've obtained that title, it's really hard to shake. So no matter what happens, how much success you obtain or who you know - ALWAYS stay true to who you are. Don't get blinded by the shiny pennies that will dazzle their way in front of you. Remember your purpose, remember your passion and remember who you really are.


19. Practice gratitude: It's not a hard task to say 'thank you' and mean it. Doesn't require much time or energy from you. Get thankful for everything that you have, that you've had and that you're going to have. This is the actual secret recipe to getting every single thing you want. But the trick is, you must FEEL the gratitude. Feel it in your heart. It really does make you happier, thus easier to keep pursuing your dream.


20. Become the apprentice once again: Educate yourself, learn new things, read books that speak to you, take courses that resonate with your desires, learn about those places you always wanted to go. Don't be afraid to become the student once again. Personal growth is the key to a fulfilled life.


21. Spread the word: You never know who is out there who might have the perfect opportunity waiting for you or perhaps is dying to be a big part of your support system. You have to let others help you.