Is Your Relationship A Train-Wreck?

Once a year I like to watch one of my favourite movies of all time and absolutely ball my eyes out. The movie I speak of is called P.S I love you. I think you may have heard of it?

It's that movie that makes us book the next flight to Ireland in search of any man that looks like Gerard Butler and Jeffrey Dean Morgan to sweep us off our feet. Drool. Coincidentally my boyfriend just so happens to be tall, dark, sexy as hell, Irish and handsome. Jackpot baby!

But as much as we'd LOVE to have a relationship as profound as Holly's and Gerry's, the painful truth is that relationships don't just happen like that.

My early 20s conversations with my girlfriends were a mixtape of how miserable I was being in love with somebody who didn't love me back, how much I knew he was it or how if I just did this or said that or declared this, everything would change.

Needless to say my love life was a train-wreck.

Not long ago when I felt the fear of losing my current relationship due to my own insecurity (again), I had only two options.

1) Let the fear barrage through me & lose my relationship.

2) Ignore my habituated victim-mode, grab the reins & take action.

Can you tell which option I took?

Instead of crying myself to sleep, asking my boyfriend if he really loved me for the millionth time and picturing ways I would get back at him for "hurting me", I did the unthinkable. I went out and got a life.

I took the bull by it's balls and I got my ass to work. I declared to myself that there was no way in HELL I was gonna lose this relationship to the same self-sabotaging pattern again! The only way that would happen is if someone cheats, comes out of the closet or dies because this relationship was NOT ending because I was too needy.

So I googled every fear I had and ways to overcome it, I read a ton of books on love, sex and relationships, I sought out counseling, I joined a tennis club, I signed up to dance classes, I auditioned for a theatre show and I hung out with my friends more often.

And you know what getting a life did to my relationship? It made it f**king solid. We became closer, more intimate, more free with each other and best of all eliminated ALL neediness. Victory! Now we are happier, stronger and more in love than ever!

I turned my fear and my insecurity into a f**king EPIC love story. I took control and I changed my fate.

Is your relationship heading down a similar path? Or is it already a train-wreck? Ask yourself:

How can I take back the reins and turn my relationship into a f**king EPIC love story?

You deserve an AMAZING relationship filled with so much love, you have the power to change it into something OUTSTANDING, so no more depriving yourself of that okay?

If you're craving connection, join that book club and make some new friends. If you're pining for companionship, volunteer at an animal shelter. If you're missing familiarity, create a new boundary of comfortable. And if you're longing for excitement, dust off your bucket list and go and explore the world.

Now it's your turn: In the comments below, tell me one thing you're gonna do to start making your relationship an EPIC love story. I can't wait to hear your ideas!