How To Love Your Flaws & Adore Your Body

So, you got flaws?

Damn girl, I got them too! If we really wanna get into a contest about it, I've had mine since I was 8-years-old. What about you? Can you beat that? Can ya? Can ya!?

Okay, childishness aside, can we have a REAL conversation about this please? Body image. Argh! Single most important thing to a woman's mental health is how she feels about herself. Takes years to build confidence up, and a moment to tear it down.

That 'tear down' infests every area of a your life from the clothes you wear everyday, how you interact socially, when you see your friends, how often you have sex, how well you perform at your job, your own personal happiness to the relationship you are constantly creating with yourself.

Adoring your body, loving your flaws & seducing yourself goes far beyond self love. It's about creating a healthy body image regardless of your size.

When you learn to do this (through my AWESOME steps below) you will touch every part of your life. You'll gain strength and lighten the load of your heart with each step you take. Think of how much more time you'd have on your hands if you can successfully replace your self-loathing with joy, bliss, love & fun!

Another point I want to make out is that everyone no matter how thin, thick, short, tall or 'normal', have body image issues. Let's start changing that today shall we?

• Whatever your flaws are, FLAUNT THEM: Oh god *cringe* - "I can't stand looking at them, why the fuck would I want to flaunt them!?" you say? It's in bringing those things that we hide, are ashamed of, make us feel less out into the light to heal, and be okay with. Turn what you can't stand into your greatest asset.


• Buy clothing & underwear that makes you feel uber sexy/happy but also FITS: If you're worried about how big you are, but you're still cramming your voluptuous frame into a tiny piece of material, it's time to go out, honor your body & buy yourself some bigger clothes that look sexy as hell on you & make you feel so comfortable. If you're worried about how small you are, you get yourself some stunning numbers that'll make you feel beautiful! In other words, STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE SIZE ON THE LABEL. It doesn't matter!


• Drop the story & write a new one: "Soooooo like, I've had body image issues since I was 8-years-old..." It's time to let this story go hun. Plus, it's probably gotten a little boring and repetitive. Invent a new story, c'mon we could do it a thousand times a day when we were kids! How do you wanna feel in your body in this new story? What's the kinda relationship you wanna have with your body?


• Move your body. I don't mean go to the gym and run on the treadmill for 3 hours while you simultaneously slate every inch of your body. No no. What I mean is make your body active. Dance around your house, do some zumba, go for a lovely bush walk with your hunk-o-manflesh or take a shopping/gossip date with your girls. Do things that make you happy, that also combine being active. You will feel amazing for it!


• Learn the art of Charm & Cheek: Kitty Cavalier's School of Charm & Cheek is for women who want to learn how to reclaim those two elements as a source of power and to know themselves more deeply and intimately. She explains that Charm is the sensation of pleasing or delight, and Cheek is endearingly irreverent. They're the Ying & Yang of living a really fun & joyous life. Too much charm can be cute & pretty but you always need a little cheek.


• Ignore the haters: There's one in every town. But that in no way means you should buy into their crap of what they say about you. If someone in your life doesn't make you feel loved, beautiful or worthy it's better to distance yourself from them than put up with their own insecurities they're projecting on you.


• Join a Burlesque Class: Burlesque is such an intriguing, alluring form of entertainment that involves getting on stage and flaunting EVERYTHING (& yes includes a strip tease). Before you say "There ain't no way in HELL that's happening!" you can first learn Burlesque from the comforts of your own home (or bedroom with all the curtains closed if your so inclined). Channel your inner Carmen Electra or Jo Weldon. Burlesque isn't just about stripping, teasing or seducing, it's actually a form of therapy exploration for someone whose dealt with body image issues, eating disorders or just feeling dirty because your a woman. It helps heal those wounds.


• Be unapologetically YOU: You are who you are and as much as you want you can't change that (unless you really try too). Living an authentic life isn't about 'being the best version of yourself', it's actually about living in the polarity of your flaws and assets and not making either one right or wrong. It's about wearing both of them unapologetically & having a wild time!


• Love what's unlovable: Re-tune your relationship with those parts of yourself that you find unlovable. If you struggle with a particular body part, say your belly. Start telling yourself your belly is the hottest thing about you. Or if it's your thighs, tell yourself your thighs are your sexiest asset. The only thing less attractive than "flaws" is not liking those parts of yourself that are considered flaws. 


• Sweet talk yourself. Okay, TMI time. Before my shower every night, I spend some time just being naked in my bathroom. I turn on my fancy shower radio I got when I was 14 and I dance andflip my hair round (it actually feels AMAZING on the skin of your back, did you know that?!). I take time just to enjoy my body and talk to it sweetly, tell her she's beautiful and that she's sexy as hell. Doing this has greatly improved my body image, so I dare you to do it too.


• Seduction = attraction: Oh yeah, seduction is actually a great tool for law of attraction! But first you gotta change your personal definition of seduction (which will more than likely be about sex, being perfect, a way to get what you want or being cold). Seduction as a way of life is living with the utmost authenticity, boisterously. And when you do (be) that you naturally attract or seduce what you really want. You bypass your egos need for control and you attract your souls true desire.


• Give up the bitch fest: Sitting round with your friends, family and colleagues bitching about your bodies is the WORST thing you could do to yourself. It psychologically affects you deeper than you realize & completely warps your relationship with your body. STOP IT. If you've got nothing nice to say about yourself, don't say it! Instead, print this page out and do at least ONE of these steps to making yourself feel better!


• Love yourself no matter what size you are just for the f*ck of it: Be a rebel without a cause. Love yourself till the end of time, just because you f*cking can!

Are you yourself dealing with your own body image issues? Or have you worked through your body issues & have a great relationship with your body? Please tell me in the comments below!

Oh and if you know of someone who is struggling with her own self image, please share this post with her. It may just change her life. xx

7 Ways to Fall Madly In Love With Yourself

As you may well know, it's important to give your love to your friends, family and partners but it's also just as vitally important to give the good lovin' to yourself .

The saying goes "You gotta fill yourself up with love, so much so that you overflow and have an abundance to give to others". I read that somewhere but I can't remember where! Here's how you do it for yourself.

Create a morning ritual for yourself // Rituals are what you do every day, good or bad, that determine your life's conditions. So it's better to consciously do them than unconsciously. How to create your own morning ritual? Decide how you want your day to go and what you wanna feel like. Energized? Blissful? Badass? Sexy as hell? Then choose 1 - 3 things to do with your body, your focus and your words. So that could be getting straight out of bed, putting your trainers on and going for a run, or making a green smoothie, or singing your favourite song in your underwear. Whatever is gonna make you feel the way you wanna feel.

Eat and drink the foods that ACTUALLY make you happy! // I know you have them, so what are they? What beverages make you feel really good. Perhaps a soy latte? Maybe cucumber and grapefruit detox water? How about foods? What foods put you in a really good state? Is it carrots? What about sun dried tomatoes & feta on crackers? Monitor yourself for the next week on the food and drink you consume and how you feel after consuming them. Note down which of those made you feel good, then keep consuming more of your feel good foods!

Take breaks from technology // No BUTS! Too much of a good thing is always a bad thing. How often do you watch TV, listen to the radio, use the computer, laptop, ipad, ipod and cell phone? Every day I'm guessing? Shit, every minute I'll bet! Spend some time apart. Not only does this make you feel really good but you actually get that time to indulge in what you like (shopping, coffee with friends, one-on-one time with your beau..) I usually take the weekends off. I'll check the occasional email and fb update but I'm never on for more than 10 mins because the weekend is MY TIME.

Keep your negative thoughts on the downlow // A toughie but a goodie. Negativity can be like a virus, once you catch it it's bloody hard to get rid of but if you keep yourself healthy and well nourished, you won't get hit by the doom and gloom of it all. This TOTALLY applies to negative thoughts, negative talk, judging, gossiping and complaining - it's all the same. If you have a negative thought pop up, intercept it by placing a positive thought there instead. You can only think one thought at a time so make your thought space a positive place. You do that by focusing on your surroundings and finding something small that's positive to you. Maybe a flower, painting, the sky, a couple, anything.

Spread your love around with THICK layers // One of my favourites! Express your love to the people in your life. Whether it's your mum, dad, bff, siblings, partner, friends, pets, aunts, uncles, the person you passed while out running earlier today or the birds you fed on your lunch break. Spread it around because it is infectious and it attracts the good stuff. Remember how good you feel when you do something nice for a person and they are so grateful you literally fill up like a balloon of hot gooey caramel air? Yeah that's the good stuff, but imagine if it was 24/7??

Get your dancey dance on! // What girl doesn't love to jiggle her ass around a room? It doesn't have to be anywhere near perfect nor do you have to join a class. All you need to do is put on your favourite tunes and move that body in the most freely, loosely and un-co way. Go bat-shit! Go Will Smith!

Wear clothing that truly expresses who you are // None of these black, toned down layers BS. You are one hot, badass babe who has one sexy body to flaunt REGARDLESS of your size and shape. It makes a HUGE difference to a woman if she feels sexy in what she's wearing, so don't hide away or cheap yourself out of a hot outfit. You always deserve it.

What's one thing you're taking from this post and implementing into your life today? Get on it!


xo

30 Things You Love About Yourself

Oooooh does the title scare you? I hope it does... but only a little!

For the last year and a half I have been actively learning about the vital necessity of self-love and how to develop a healthy body and self-image.

I admit, some days it is still difficult to look in the mirror and like the person I see looking back. But the difference is now I know how to handle myself when that happens and I know what I need to make myself feel better, safer, happier, more positive etc..

One of the things I like to do to help myself keep in a positive mindset about myself is to write a list of 30 things I love about myself and stick the list on my wall for a month. The next month I'll rewrite a new list.

As a part of living vibrant, you gotta do some bold stuff and this challenge is a small but bold and significant step for us. But don't freak just yet, I'll go first so you're not doing it by yourself! :P

 

30 Things I Love About Myself

1. I have a contagious laugh
2. LOVE my big beautiful brown eyes
3. (1st stump, haha!) My long silky wavy hair
4. My playfulness and that I can see fun in a lot of things
5. My gorgeous curves
6. (2nd stump, dammit!) How much I care for my friends
7. My obsession with finding the magic in life
8. My super enthusiasm and excitement
9. I love my perfectly straight teeth :D
   
10. And that smile - lights up the world it does
11. My nose can jump in there too, proud of that puppy
12. I love my OCD to organize and decorate
13. LOVE my crafty DIY nature (and my sparkly colored pen collection)
14. (3rd stump, not bad!) I can dance like a MOFO
15. My self taught web design skills
16. Love my personal style and fashion sense
17. I give GREAT advice when friends are in need
18. I'm a damn good girlfriend
19. A freakin' awesome daughter
20. Punctuality for the things I care about! ;)
21. My AMAZING talent and skill as an actor
22. My super SMART BRAIN that has been cramming 5 years of info into 1!
23. (4th stump, better!) The classic 'Elise' facial expressions
24. My humor and comedic timing (even though I never knew I was funny)
25. My secret love of dance movies *coughstepupcough*
26. How emotionally expressive I am
27. My fantastic and wide taste in music - from Ray Charles to Ed Sheeran
28. My sweet writing skills
29. My strong values
30. The ability to see the positive and keep optimistic

Phew! 4 stumps, not bad I say!

Now it's your turn! This is your bold moment, in the comments below I want you to tell me 30 things you love about yourself! I know you can do it & I'm dying to see what you love!

Ready? Go!

10 Lessons from Learning to Love Myself

I've come a long way in the last year and a half.

From being bullied and harassed by my boss to running my own online business. Almost seems like something you read in the papers when you think about it!

In that time, there have been maaaaany hurdles and a ton of lessons. All in which have made me stronger, wiser and so much happier.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller. Doesn't make me lonely when I'm alone." - Kelly Clarkson (click to tweet)

I've been wanting to share with you for a while now what I have learned so far by welcoming self love into my life. Whether you've tried it, are practicing diligently or have never heard of it - I hope this helps you in any way it can.

Every part of you has a place. EVERY part of you. Even the bitchy demon-like diva that comes out every few weeks from lack of sleep and chocolate. Yes, she has a place. You see, we women are so colorful yet we forget our emotions are our assets. We care about EVERYTHING and we gauge our life by how we feel. So imagine if we suddenly lobotomized half of our emotions (all the negative ones). Life would be too much like "Pleasantville" - a horror I'm sure we'd all like to forget! We need contrast to thrive.

It's about being gentle. When I first "discovered" self love I went on a rampage to smother myself with it in almost like a military-style way. 10x affirmations in the morning! 20 minutes of positive visualization and rule after rule after rule. And you know what happened? It sucked! I didn't wanna love myself anymore if that's what it was gonna be like! But then I realized that it's all about being gentle with ourselves, nurturing is such a natural feminine trait and instead I was up at base camp getting ready for my next deployment!

The loneliness, disconnect or emptiness dissipates. That hole, that empty feeling doesn't come around my way very much anymore. It's not gone, it will never leave but with all of this attention and bringing it to light, we are slowly learning to be in harmony with each other. I give it what it needs when it needs it and it gives me what I need when I need it. Yin and Yang.

Life improves effortlessly. I truly believe that if you weren't going to do anything in your life except learn to love yourself - that would be more than enough. Things just get better.

Pleasure naturally becomes a priority. Rather than indulging yourself once in a while, your pleasure and enjoyment takes first place. Because eventually you start figuring out that the key to your own happiness is through filling yourself up first. So instead of ploughing in one more hour of work time, you instinctively know your body is tired, ready for a break, a hot chocolate, a foot spa or cuddles with your man. You learn that by taking care of you first, you can take care other things more effectively.

You become intuitively aligned with yourself. When you've been practicing self love for a while, you no longer have the urge to get in front of the mirror and start a war. Instead, you know there are days when you are going to want to hurt - probably for know reason at all. And because you intuitively understand yourself, you love and nurture that part of yourself until you feel better.

Jealousy and insecurity eliminates itself. This has been one of the greatest gifts to me. I know that a lot of people are hurting via these two feelings, it's like actual hell. But self love changes that, quicker than you expect! Letting go of these demons has been one of my greatest achievements.

Gratitude comes easily. Appreciation attracts support. By already supporting myself I have been able to send more gratitude out into the world. I have more to give because I served myself first, I filled my cup up. And when you can come from a place of being full rather than empty, the universe backs you 100% are in turn even shows you it's gratitude by bringing your beautiful unexpected gifts and opportunities.

The hatred will slowly turn into a friendship. If you're diligent and you keep at it, the hate you feel for yourself will transform, at first slowly, but it will. First you may stop talking to each other for a while, then when that part of you is ready you get on talking terms, then a possible acquaintance, then a friendship and finally a love affair. It takes practice and I am in no way near the finish line just yet, but I'm living proof that you're not doing this all for nothing at that there is progress.

You lose the guilt for putting yourself first. This is a HUGE hang up women have when they start their self love journey. Don't let the guilt stop you! That's just your ego doing it's thang again trying to make you feel bad so that it doesn't have to change it's routine. Stick on it, the guilt will subside and you'll start feel more in control of your life and the outcome. You'll start claiming your power back.

10x happier guaranteed. I thought I knew happiness, real happiness. But the true happiness I feel right now never leaves. Of course I'll have off days and feel less than 'on top of the world' but somewhere within I know that while I'm feeling like this at the moment, I'm still a happy girl and I really know it. The outside/surface may change everyday, but it's the inside that never changes.


Self love is a personal journey and it does require courage, but I know for a fact that if you're reading this you are a very courageous person. Bring it on yeah!

And to be honest I really don't care what people say about self love and if it's woo woo or whatever. Adding more love, pleasure and care to myself has made me a better woman. It was worth every affirmation!

Action Step: In your journey to loving yourself more, what's one thing you have learned about yourself?

The Ultimate Self Love Technique (or, Affirmations & Gratitude & Positivity Oh My!)

Affirmations are well known as a form of self-therapy to dramatically changing your psychological way of thinking about yourself. Hundreds of thousands of people recite them every day (including myself).

Gratitude has recently been scientifically proven to change your outlook on life. People who kept a gratitude journal for 3 weeks measured 25% higher on life satisfaction. They exercised more, they drank less alcohol and their family and friends noticed they were nicer to be around. The effects lasted for months from the initial 3 week period. (Stats from Marie Forleo)

Positive Energy sometimes seems like a very woo-woo concept. But in actual fact positive energy is created in specific forms of movement such as dancing, running and exercising. It's a natural release of endorphins in your body that creates a 'high'.

Now you're probably thinking 'Why the hell are you telling me about these three things?' and that is a great question!

It is because these three precious things are the main ingredients to The Ultimate Self Love Technique!

It combines affirmations with gratitude, positive energy and mirror work (which is the last ingredient + a fantastic form of self love therapy) because let's face it. Sometimes it can get really confusing (and time consuming) trying to say your affirmations, think positive thoughts then write in a gratitude journal when you've got shit to do.

That's why this Ultimate Self Love Technique is the perfect combination of the three, it's quick and easy to do!

Here's an example..



Are you in love?

Right, now your challenge is to get in front of the mirror and try exactly what young Jessica did here.

RIGHT NOW.

This is to gauge how you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror, how quick you can think of things you love about yourself and your life and how revved up you can get your energy.

After this, put it on a scale of 1 - 100, where do you think you're at right now?

We all know the goal is at 150%.

Next it's time to get out your self love journal: Write down affirmations you would like to use and things that make you insanely happy and that you really appreciate already. Make it HUGE. You can have awesome serious things as well as funny and silly things too. This is the starting list you're gonna use for the next week.

Rev yourself up with some movement: Before you begin The Ultimate Self Love Technique, you're gonna rev yourself up with some movement. Pop on your fave upbeat song *coughjustinbiebercough* and get moving. Remember the dorky dance moves I was talking about way back? Yup, use those. This is about bringing your energy up so that you can get maximum benefits from the Ultimate Self Love Technique.

Stare yourself down in the mirror: This will probably be the most confronting part of the exercise for you and that's okay. We all gotta start somewhere! Spend some time looking into your eyes in the mirror. This is an exercise that Louise Hay believes wholeheartedly in and I do as well. You are able to see through the mirror how you gauge yourself, it takes practice and this technique is going to be the perfect avenue. This is the ultimate self love secret sauce. If you can look at yourself in the mirror with love and appreciation (like this exercise is gonna give you) you're gonna be a vibrant self loving goddess!

Make it a ritual & practice everyday: Yup, if you want your life to change you gotta do it every day. You don't go to the gym once and become a pumped up body builder do you? It's making the muscle stronger. This is the key to making your life a magical 'on-purpose' event. You can do it hun!

When I started doing The Ultimate Self Love Technique I found it hard to think of stuff non stop. It wasn't until after a week of constant practice I started finding my groove!

Over time I noticed things started changing, my days were a lot more positive and little magic moments were happening all the time. My relationships became waaaay better and everything just improved. But most importantly I had a stronger sense of self.

And now? It's one of my FAVOURITE things to do each day! I literally can't wait to get out of bed to do my lil dance and incantation. It's incredibly liberating and I know you will find it seriously helpful to your self love practice.


Elise xo

Girl, Stop Hating Yourself Right Now!

Over the weekend I had the most delicious + heated conversation with a new friend about self love and body image. My new friend was telling me how much she wanted to work with younger females and help them with their body image issues.

I was telling her about an experience I had a few months ago. I was browsing (stalking) around on facebook and I noticed an update from my younger sister. She's in her tweens and at that total awkward transition stage that we all go through when going from child to teen.

She was fb-covo-bombing her own picture with another friend. All I remember was:

"You're so pretty but I'm ugly."
"No way, you're prettier and I'm super ugly. I can't even get a boyfriend."
"Whatever! You are gorgeous. I'm dumb, fat and ugly.."

It literally went like this for a good 20 minutes and as you could imagine it frustrated the FUCK crap out of me.

Not because of the unknown psychological damage these two girls are doing to themselves on a daily basis, not because of the hateful words they're poisoning their minds with and not even because of their backward attention seeking methods but because I used to have this exact same conversation with my friends when I was in high school!!!! 

So that means in the space of 10 years with apple dominating technology, fashion changing rapidly, more option, foods, animals, businesses, money and whatever - there still hasn't been much of a change in educating our younger women about personal empowerment.

That to me is fucking disgraceful.

We take that awful self hatred into our late teens (and we know this is the worst place to feel like this), then it comes with us into our 20's and if we didn't sort it out there, into our 30's and so on..

I don't know about you, but to my new friend and I - this is a HUGE concern!

This has to change. But how the hell do we stop this pattern?

One step at a fucking time, that's how.

Girl, listen to me.

No more will you say, think, write or feel another loathing word to yourself.

No more will you buy into the bullshit of poisoned self-hating mediocrity.

No more will you look into a mirror filled with shame and hatred.

No more will take on other peoples hurtful projections.

No more will you cry yourself to sleep alone in despair.

No more will you look for love, approval & yourself in somebody else.

No more will you put your happiness last!

You are a star, a goddess, an angel.

You are a motherfucking diva!!!

You are powerful.

You are unique.

You are loved.

You can DO this!

You can change your life.

You can forgive the past.

You can create a brand new future..

It starts with the first step

Say it:

I. LOVE. YOU.

How to Feel Good About Yourself

After the mega hit of 'a delicious recipe for sexy confidence', ya'll told me you wanted more!

Well now we're digging deep.

We're going in full speed ready to get your self confidence and quality of life up to where you want it.. Beaming with awesomeness!

As you know, anything you want that will be liberating and rewarding for you requires time, patience and effort. (Hell that's the "secret" recipe for everything in life!) You gotta decide now whether you can be assed putting this effort into you. Because I tell ya, it will test you and challenge you and push you to your limits. One moment you're on cloud nine, next you're balling your eyes out to the bottom of a Ben and Jerry's.

You get what you put in. If you do the work once today, maybe once next month and for 2 days the next week, your results are gonna be scattered and make you feel like a class-A schizophrenic. If you're gonna half-ass it, you're gonna get half-assed results. If you take little steps each day, you'll get better and better each day. Get it?

There is no mystery recipe to life except that it gives you exactly what you put into it.

So in order to gain self confidence and feel good about yourself you must start with baby steps.

How to Have Self Confidence & Feel Good About Yourself

List your past achievements

Get out the self-love journal and make a list of all of your past achievements big or small. From the compliment you got on the red lipstick you wore to the most outstanding achievement certificate you got in primary school - name it ALL and get DAMN proud of it all. Be like your former 5yr old who gets the medal and does nothing but stare at it, talk about it and praise it.

Write out your strengths

Time to dig a lil deeper. I recently did this exercise in terms of discovering what my acting strengths were and it took quite a while but I got a good list in the end. On a new page in your journal, write your strengths - yes even if it's guzzling a pint Guinness in 5 seconds flat.

What's important to you?

On a new page in your journal, write out what is important to you right now. What values do you have? What will you not tolerate? What friends, boyfriends and family members are #1 on your list? What must you do every morning, afternoon and evening? How often? Write it all out and create a personal map for yourself.

Where do you wanna go?

I'll admit one of my favourite exercises - write out exactly where you want to head in life. Even if it's multiple places, just write it out - get it out. Do you want to travel and have a career? Do you want money and independence? What about a relationship and babies? Do you want apples or oranges? Puppies or kittens? Bargain or couture? Money or spirituality? Don't worry if one contradicts each other, just write everything that comes to mind.

Commit to yourself

Make a promise to yourself that you will do this work, that you will strive for success no matter what obstacles you face. Knowing that they'll pop up is a strong part in making them less powerful. Write a statement or declaration to yourself in your journal that you will do this. Kinda like my 4 simple goals I created the other week.

Set small goals

Give yourself something to work toward every 1 - 3 months. Take up a class of something you've always wanted to do like dancing or sewing. Join a sports club that you've been interested in or start learning that language you've always been fascinated by. And at the end of each completed goal, reward yourself with something you like.

Work on the mind

So simple to say, but it's actually gotta become a daily practise. Whether it's meditating, reading, affirming, researching, manifesting, visualizing, focusing etc each day you gotta commit to working on your mind. Because anything you want to change and create starts with your mind. You gotta work on the actual source to get to where you wanna go.

Confront your insecurities

Now it's time to go deeper. On another page in your journal, write out all your fears and insecurities. Whatever comes up just write it out. Some will be ones you've known about, others will come out of nowhere. The important thing here is to get them out and know what they are so you can work through them

Talk it out with friends

You're bound to have at least one friend you can talk about all of this stuff with and ask for advice. You'll be surprised to know that most people go through the same things and if some of your friends have already been through it, you have a great little support network right there.

Look for others you admire

What I mean is, look for people who you feel are like you but are where you wanna be and start interacting with them or research the crap outta them. Start applying the things they do and find out if it works for you.

Get your gratitude on

And last but certainly not least, give the gratitude! Show your appreciation for being here and for being you. Be grateful for your brand new confidence and your sassy new attitude. Basically just adopt a characteristic and gratefulness!

So there ya go! Lots to work with but if you take it in baby steps you'll find that it's actually easy to apply. To get to where you truly want to be, you gotta start from the inside out. Remember not to rush, you can't rush your learning process. But with each new thing you apply you will find yourself getting more and more confident each day.

Have fun!

Elise xo

How to Feel Confident, Sexy & Delicious!

When you think of sexy confidence do you automatically think of the Victoria's Secret Angels?

I do!

Now, before you cower away ready to drown in a packet of chocolate buttons and inadequacy - just stop for a moment and hear me out.

A year or so ago, I was having some issues. I wasn't confident with where I was going in my life - I didn't know what I wanted and I had become very stagnant. So much to the point a barely wanted to be around people (crazy, I know).

I had backed myself into a corner, hid myself under my fluffy pink blanket and didn't want to come out from under it. My confidence took a huge dive. I could barely socialize with people anymore and I just wanted the world to swallow me up whole.

One day, I had a moment of clarity. I don't know where it came from but I feel it was my soul crying out for help. I needed to do something and I needed to do it now. I could not stay like this anymore - it was time to get Elise back!

I don't know how, but I just knew what to do. I started acting and pretending I was confident, even if I was by myself in my room. I saw the Victoria Secret models on tv one day and I knew that THAT was the confidence I wanted! I kept at it and life started turning back around and before I knew it it was getting better than it was before!

Now, whether you're in times of desperation like I was or if you know you just need to do a lil work - look past all the feathers, the sequins, the lingerie, the smokin' hot bods and the gorgeous features of these women, what have they got?

A very delicious recipe to confidence.

See it! There in every picture! Sure they ooze sex appeal but there's that underlying playful confidence. ANYONE can have that!

The question is, how exactly do you get THAT confidence? Well, here are my 4 tips to getting yourself there!

By having a sexy affair with yourself!

Dance around to your girl power playlist in your sexy knickers, date yourself, do daily kick-ass affirmations, meditate your heart out, have an affair with food, take pleasure in doing nothing, get selfish and do things just for you. You gotta fill yourself up with the good stuff so it can ooze out of you like an intoxicating love potion! You've gotta indulge in you.

By strutting down your runway!

Mmhmmm, you heard me right! You gotta strut as if you're on your runway. So, if you were super confident, how would you walk? How would you talk? How would you act? Think about it and then PRACTICE IT. Practice walking, talking and acting exactly the way you would if you were confident. Summon your alter ego for assistance and make it a daily practice!

By having a fun, playful & positive outlook!

Get playful with people around you. Go back to when you were a kid and used to chase each other just cause they poked you in the hip and said "you're it!". Chase the fun around you or make simple things fun! It's all about perception! Finally, now that you're aware, start looking for the positive in everything - because there always is a positive! Train yourself to look at things 'glass half full'.

By love and kindness for others!

Random, I know. But I've noticed that there can be a slight arrogance the more confident you get and if you're not careful you can tip the other way and become an absolute douche. So you counter act this by giving love and kindness to the people around you. I've learned that if you treat people with love and respect while being confident, these people sing sing your praises to the world!

Start applying these four things daily and watch as your life transforms around you. You will become an incredible inspiration to your peers, you'll lead the way for many others and you will have a healthy and wholesome respect and love for yourself that most only dream of!

Elise xx

21 Self-Love Affirmations

I know I don't usually post on a Thursday, but I'm just so dang passionate about self-love I really couldn't resist myself.

Plus I'm really excited about sharing these self love quotes and affirmations that you can start using today!

By now I'm sure you know what affirmations are, and yes I understand you might feel like it's bullshit have some resistance against them. But, as you're here reading this right now I truly believe you are willing to do anything that will positively transform your life.

So, friend - here is something that will help.

I'm not saying you have to do it all the time, or that you even have to like it (though it'd help!) but no harm came from trying something positive so give it a shot will ya?

So to begin..

Find a place where you're the most comfortable and feel safe i.e I do it either in my bed or the bath tub. Write the self love affirmations down in a journal, copy and paste into a word file or just say them out loud.

Really try to feel what you're saying. Don't try to rush them. Just feel it. Each affirmation will have a slightly different feeling/trigger point. Note what feels good, what you connect to and leave the others for another time.

You don't need to use them all. I personally believe that the shorter the affirmation the better. There's power in shortness - well I think anyway!

21 Self-Love Affirmations

1. I am loved.
2. I am unique.
3. I am powerful.
4. I am worthy.
5. I am valuable.
6. I am worthy of love.
7. I am worthy of success.
8. I am worthy of the fulfilment of my dreams.
9. I am worthy of happiness
10. I am learning to approve of myself.
11. I forgive myself.
12. I love and accept myself.
13. I am in the process of feeling great about myself.
14. I am learning to radiate love and respect.
15. I accept others as they are and they in turn accept me as I am.
16. I know I deserve all that is good.
17. I am never alone.
18. I am becoming more and more grateful.
19. I am becoming happier.
20. I am loving.
21. I am loving it!

And above all these beautiful quotes, my favourite one below is by none other than my childhood hero - Walt Disney. Which is also why I made it a tweetable! So click the link and get sharing!

Today's tweetable: "The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique." - Walt Disney via @EliseMcDowell

Aint it juicy? The more you are true to yourself, the more unique you become because there is only one of you honey! (even if you happen to have an identical twin, you're still your own person!)

Elise xo

The #1 Way to Start Loving Your 'SELF' Right Now

When it comes to loving your SELF, are you guilty of putting you as the last thing 'to do' on your list? Do you spend most of your time doing all the things you have to do and see before you even think of you?

What about when you are alone with yourself? Do you loathe looking into the mirror, going out in public or being around people because you don't feel good enough?

Well you listen up here beautiful, we are about to change that! We are going to bring that inner vibrance out and turn you into a self loving machine!

You wanna know the #1 way to start loving your SELF right now? Well here it is..

D A T E    Y O U R S E L F

Oooooh.. What a gorgeous, sexy vixen you've got there for a date!

Think about it, when you reeeally like someone and you start dating you literally pull out every single stop. You put aside a boatload of time for this person, you spend money on this person, you communicate with this person often, you do different activities than usual with this person.

You think about this person, you talk about this person, this person makes you smile all the time, they give you butterflies, you get warm fuzzies, you make cute little things for them, you eat at different food joints, you crack jokes with them, you laugh together, you hug, you kiss, you cuddle, you link arms, you play, you get intimate, you share things with each other and most of all you have FUN.

This is what you need to do with yourself.

You have to start treating yourself like the special one in your life, the one you'll pull out all of the stops for. You've got to fill your pink bedazzled cup-of-love with an abundance of S E L F   L O V E. Because only then will you be able to give, love, create and play like you've never done before. You've gotta put yourself first!

Image from Militant Baker

Here is your challenge for the next month. You are to date yourself every day. Become besotted with yourself. Imagine YOU as the sexy, hot person you're taking home with you every night.

Use these ideas to get you started and create your own. Reenact a previous date you've had that went really well and do it with just yourself. Indulge in YOU, fall in love with YOU.

+ Have a movie date with yourself

+ Treat yourself to your favourite take-out food

+ Snap some awesome photos of yourself

+ Talk sweet words to your body

+ Use affirmations for extra luuurve

+ Write to yourself and in a journal

+ DANCE your butt off in your room in your underwear

+ Smile for 30 seconds

+ Make something pretty just for you.
+ Go for a walk and a picnic in your favourite park
+ Listen to your favourite tunes
+ Kiss yourself in the mirror!
+ Do things that make you laugh
+ Try something new like a food, hobby or running track.

+ Start a new hobby for yourself
+ Buy yourself something nice
+ Dress up for yourself when you go out
+ Stay in bed all day
+ Plan a day trip for yourself
+ Instagram your life

+ Wear sexy underwear
+ Go shopping and have lunch in your fave cafe
+ Have a saucy, scrumptious and delicious dessert
+ Get lost in borders. Read mags, books and drink coffee all day

This is the start of something amazing. You are more than you realize. You are pure amazingness and not nobody can ever tell you otherwise! You are the one who can change yourself into a self loving bunny! Let's start today!

Elise xo

The Greatest Way to Accept Yourself

Earlier in the year I hit a wall.

A 'feel-like-crap' wall.

Blame it on the weather or whatever but I hadn't exercised in over 3 days and I was feeling it.

The little negative creatures crept in and started playing havoc on my mind.

"You should have been exercising today", "You're going to get fat if you carry on like this".

Uck, yucky! *shake it OFF*

Then the most amazing thing happens.....

My man comes over and sits with me (he can obviously see I'm moping feeling sorry for myself). I tell him how I'm feeling and he understands me completely - he's kinda wonderful like that. He says to me that I shouldn't feel like shit and reminded me of everything I've achieved to this date and that is an amazing accomplishment for me.

Then he said something to me that really resonated with me. He said "You have to accept yourself for exactly who you are right now because if it doesn't change now, it won't change later."

I said "But how do I do that?"

He then went on to say that the greatest way to accepting yourself is to create a daily checklist.

I know right, not exactly as soul defining as you would think huh..


To create this checklist you take these simple steps:

• Get out your journal/diary/calender/a piece of paper and pen.
• Draw 2 - 5 bullet points (I started off with 3, I highly recommend starting small)
• Write down 2 - 5 things you would like to complete each day. (This can be anything from write posting things on your fb business page to spending time patting the cat. Anything that is important to you.)
• When you wake up in the morning make sure those tasks are completed first thing.

The purpose of the checklist is that after a month when you look back at all the tasks you have completed, while seeming small at the time, is actually now a substantial accomplishment!

By doing this I have accomplished becoming extremely fit, living in the moment more, doing the things that make me happy and creating a magical relationship with my partner.

If you planned to exercise for 40 mins a day every day, you would be fitter, healthier, thinner stronger and mentally fit! If you decided to write 500 words a day for your online business, you'd have a crap load of content, a great work ethic and great writing skill! If you took out half an hour each night to unwind with candles and relaxing music, you will have a sense of calamity, stress would disappear from your life and you'd become more peaceful within.

What seems so small and insignificant in the beginning can turn into something big and amazing down the track.

So tell me wonderful, what's gonna be on your daily checklist?

xx


P.S Thanks to my wonderful beau for the inspiration for this post.