If You Are Lost, Stuck, Unhappy or Unfulfilled - You Need To Read This

(or, A Girl's Guide to Loving Life)

[Sidenote: I am so freakin' excited for today's post! It's a goodie!! I had the honor of meeting Jordan Brown through herfuture.com and I have a feeling it's a friendship that is going to be a phenomenal one! I am wander-struck with all that Jordan has created for herself from and INCREDIBLE book 'The Girl's Guide to Loving Life' to a powerful community of women on facebook. She is someone to keep an eye on because she is going BIG and BEAUTIFUL places! Elise.x]

A few years ago, I was completely unaware of where true personal fulfillment came from. I searched for happiness in physical objects, whether it was a cheeseburger from McDonald’s, a new boyfriend, or a new pair of shoes. I always wanted more, more, more.

My unhealthy search for happiness landed me in a poor relationship, in a body that was thirty pounds overweight, and in a closet full of items that surely weren’t adding to my happiness or general well-being.

I felt stuck and continued to settle for mediocrity for quite some time.

It wasn’t until I turned to self-help books for guidance, about two years ago, that I realized that everything I needed to be happy was already inside of me – I just had to manifest it!

I didn’t need to fill a void inside of me with food, buy more ‘stuff’, or depend on another's praise for my self-worth. I needed a love for myself, an attitude of gratitude, and happiness that wasn’t dependent on outside circumstances.

I started eating healthy and excising on a regular basis, parted ways with my long-term boyfriend, and began doing activities that made me truly happy. I also started reading for hours on end about happiness, self-esteem, and personal fulfillment.

By making these positive changes, I began deeply loving my life. I discovered a new sense of peace and happiness deep within that had been untouched for far too long.


All of my reading and soul searching fueled the fire inside of me and I suddenly felt compelled to share my insight with others. I decided to create a blog where I could write frequently and openly about happiness, attitude, self-love, personal success, and general well-being.

The positive feedback I received from my ponderings inspired me to pursue an even bigger project: to write a book to share my new-found insight with others. 

I began writing a self-help book for young women (teenage-adult) the day after I graduated college in May 2011. I self-published The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life on July 21, 2012.

The Girl’s Guide to Loving Life is a practical guide for learning to love your life, despite the inevitable flaws you may find in it. With the help of over fifty women who were interviewed for this project, I share knowledge and wisdom on five main concepts: having a positive attitude, loving yourself, achieving your dreams, overcoming obstacles, and creating your legacy.

I share stories from my own journey to happiness, and how you can embark on your own journey. It’s a fun, easy-to-read, and thought-provoking book that can help you get from where you are in life to where you hope to be.

Although it took me a while to get here, I am now at a beautiful and exciting place in my life and want to help others reach this same point.

This is ultimately what inspired me to write a guide on helping other women love themselves and love their lives.

Now, at 23 and pursuing a Master’s degree in Counseling & Guidance, I am on a quest to help inspire others. I hope to empower individuals to find the courage within to unleash their full potential; to embrace who they are and choose to make the most out of life.

By ditching my sour-apple attitude and by learning to enjoy the sweetness that life has to offer, my life has completely transformed.

Now that you know all about me and my personal journal, I want to take a few moments to help inspire YOU to keep moving forward on your journey of self-discovery, of happiness, of loving life, of whatever it may be that you are searching for.

So, here is my advice for you today: Be your own best friend and NOT your own worst enemy; lift yourself UP instead of bringing yourself down. May sound silly or fluffy, but that’s what has drastically changed my life for the better.

When you tell yourself that you are beautiful, strong, smart, independent, worthy, etc…you are just that. You are unstoppable. You go through life with an unbreakable confidence and love for yourself because you have thought yourself there.

On the other hand, when you tell yourself that you are unlovable, disgusting, worthless, stupid, etc…you have also thought yourself there.

So how do we unthink ourselves from somewhere dark? How do we escape from that insecure and lonely jail cell we have locked ourselves into? Well…we break free.

We release ourselves. We make a commitment that we will leave our negative labels behind us and instead adopt positive beliefs about ourselves. Work toward training your mind to replace discouraging, self-destructive thoughts with encouraging and positive thoughts.

This doesn’t exactly happen overnight, but it can happen over time if you make progress each and every day. Is this easy? Not necessarily. Is it possible with practice and effort? Absolutely.

One thing you can do right now, which will hopefully benefit you from here on out, is pick at least three words from the word list below. Write them on your hand, type them into a note on your cell phone, jot them down on a post-it note to stick in your wallet, or simply store them in your mind.

Anytime throughout your day today that you start to assign a negative label to yourself (old or new), whip out your note and repeat: “I am ____, _____, _____.”

Until you feel ready to let go of the mistake you made, the harsh judgment you have formed, the negativity you are feeling toward yourself, or the feeling that you don’t measure up in some way.

Positive labels: Beautiful. Smart. Strong. Wise. Learning. Growing. Encouraging. Helpful. Successful. Forgiving. Loved. Bold. Respectful. Confident. Fierce. Unstoppable. Unique. Energetic. Trustworthy. Sincere. Loyal.

You can also start to challenge your negative beliefs. When you start to assign a negative label to yourself, ask yourself, “Am I really a (insert harsh or negative belief) or is this just something I’m creating in my head based on this one particular experience?”

Talk yourself through the situation, question your own thinking, and become more self-aware of the way in which you speak to yourself when difficulties or conflicts arise.

I could have never written a book at age 22 if I didn’t tell myself EVERY single day that I could (and would!) do it and be successful in my venture.

I constantly lifted myself up and motivated myself to keep going. I continue to challenge negative thoughts and chose to ride on the positive side of life. I suggest you do the same, lady. YOU are amazing, worthy, beautiful…Oh, I could go on and on.

But you gotta believe it, girl. Start working on the inside. Then watch as the miracles start to happen on the outside.


Yours in happiness,

Jordan Brown

Feel free to connect with me via the web, Twitter, or Facebook!

Website: www.girlsguidetolovinglife.com

Twitter: @whosjordanbrown

Facebook: www.facebook.com/girlsguidetolovinglife

The Secret to Extraordinary Happiness

Do you ever feel like happiness is always out there, just out of your reach? Or do you ever feel that you wont have true, real, authentic, life-altering happiness until everything is perfect?




I want to share a little lesson with you that I learned while on my holiday in Fiji. When it hit me, my eyes widened, my mouth dropped and a BIG-ASS shift happened.




But first, we gotta take it back a couple of years..





When I was 14, I remember saying to my bestie "holiday's make you hate your life". We were both holidaying in Australia with my mother at the time.






The reason I said that was because this was my first trip as a teenager overseas and I remember feeling like I was a brand new person, like I could do anything I wanted and I was free from the chains of life (or in my case at the time, boys and homework).




I remember feeling this incredible sense of fulfilment, vitality and excitement and that anything was possible. I knew without a doubt that my current life did NOT match up to what I wanted and I didn't want to return to it.




But hey, you don't get much say when you're fourteen huh? LOL.




That happiness and fulfillment returned once again on my excursion in Europe and America. I was free once again! I could be anybody, I could do anything and I could do whatever I wanted right now - be it swimming in Lake Como or wandering the streets of New York City with nothing but my feet guiding me. But even then I still couldn't grasp what it was I felt.




Third time lucky (and only last week) I had the chance for that feeling to come back once again. And it did! The aliveness followed me to Fiji! And this time I got the message loud and clear (finally!), the secret to my extraordinary happiness hit me so hard I almost fell out of my hammock!


You have to do shit NOW. There is no tomorrow!



I know right, it's actually not that profound or anything out of the ordinary - nor a secret.




But I wanna break down my discovery for you.




Life isn't this mundane, repetitive, 'work-till-you're-dead' game. That's what we're told life is. We go to work, we save a lil money, party on the weekends and then do it all over again the next week. We write our dreams and goals down and we stuff them away somewhere in the closet hoping that they'll come true soon.




We say we'll go to that cute little market this afternoon but then can't be bothered when the time comes around. We tell ourselves we'll eat only leafy green salads for lunch and then we put it off till next week. We say we'll ask for a raise, quit our jobs, have sex more often and lose the weight but it never happens and we just keep putting it off till tomorrow.








In Fiji, we had a set amount of time to get shit done and if we didn't do it we didn't get to experience it. So we had toup our game.




We caught the Bula Bus to Port Denarau even though we were hot, bothered and tired. We went swimming in the pool at night with cocktails even though we were exhausted from our day. We had our breakfasts, lunches and dinners in 5-star restaurants even though we weren't used to spending money like that. We took the last island tour that was left even though we wanted to go somewhere else.




And you know what happened?




We had the most delicious lunch with cocktails at the port together and I found some fantastic gifts for my family. Swimming in the pool, staring at the stars & dreaming about our future together was one of the highlight moments with my hunny. We got to have full and happy tummy's while being treated like superstars and we had the most incredible day snorkelling in crystal clear blue water discovering little fish and drinking to our hearts content.


Doesn't that sound so scrumdiddilyumptious?!?




If we didn't do any of that, if I bitched and moaned that I was too tired, too sore, too hot, too stubborn and too cheap I wouldn't have experienced the magic of our trip. I would have just spent all my time in my resort room watching tv. How dumb would that have been?







If you're bitching about why nothing has changed in your life, ask yourself what effort you've actually made to do it?




Did you get up this morning and go for a walk or did you tell yourself you'll do it later? Did you reward yourself with that massage or did you skimp on the fee and say it was too much?




The secret to extraordinary happiness is living your life as you want it to be RIGHT NOW. Not waiting till you're richer, thinner, happier, in a relationship, with a degree or with more confidence. You get all of that when you take the action beforehand. It's like losing weight, the results don't happen till a couple of weeks after you've started your weight loss plan.




This is bigger than just you, this is you and the universe collaborating and moving mountains. This is you and who you truly are creating universes and escaping the illusion.






I get it now, I get why when trekking round Europe (even on days when I didn't really want to but made the effort anyway) made me happier, more fulfilled, wiser, eat to my hearts content and lose weight, fall back in love, forgive, dream, believe, make peace, have more energy, become bold, express my true feelings, connect with the universe and trust my intuition.






I get it.




Because I showed up and did it anyway, regardless of how I (the ego) felt. I upped my game for the cause and life showed up for me and gave me all the things I truly wanted. I didn't even give it my 100% effort, action and focus. I just showed up and guess what? It gave me 100% what I wanted anyway.


If there is anything you do in your life from now on, I hope that you choose today instead of tomorrow.


There is actually no time. There is only right now. Chose right now to start living in it because THAT is how life was always meant to be. Extraordinary.

DON'T Make a Resolution to Lose Weight

Just don't do it. Don't do that to yourself.

There is so much negativity tied up in that one declaration.

1. You're telling yourself you're not good enough now.
2. You're purposely setting yourself up to fail.
3. It makes you feel bad about yourself.

All great indicators not to make that damn resolution.

Instead, make a resolution to work on your thoughts, to better how you feel and do all the fun and exciting things you would do if you were already thin. Stop waiting on the weight. Go to the root of the problem, not the cause.

Believe it or not, those three examples lead to weight loss. Say whaaat? You didn't see anything about weight loss in there!

Yup, training your mind and not your ass and doing before getting is a more healthy way to lose weight but also the fastest way to lose weight..

How do I figure that?

As Marianne Williamson and Tony Robbins both say.. "Your body is a response to your thoughts, not the other way around."

Read that again; Your body is a response to your thoughts.

Your thoughts are the cause of your wanting to lose weight (or gain it), your body isn't!! Poor thing is just responding to what you're thinking.

So my friend, if your resolution is to lose the weight or get fit..

Intend to work on the mind because until you start making changes to your psychology you'll yo-yo around diets and exercise. You'll lose the weight only to gain it back because you didn't work on the foundation.

AND

Give yourself permission to do the things you wanna do when you're thin, right now. That's actually the real secret to weight loss, letting yourself be who you truly are. So stop waiting on the weight and go out and buy that hot dress, become self employed, pursue your dancing dreams and LIVE. The point of life is to LIVE, not wait till everything is perfectly lined up.

Be kind to yourself over these holidays, use my favourite affirmation "I am perfect the way I am as I am"

Don't beat yourself up for not sticking to your daily practice/exercise routine/diet over this period. This time is about relaxation, recuperation and being with loved ones.

Your worth is not tied up in your size, your weight or body image. You are perfect now.

Let's make 2013 the year we stop punishing ourselves. I'm with you on this one too buddy.


Elise xo

The Good Girl's Guide to Dealing With Jealousy

Jealousy & envy can hit the best of us at the most inconvenient times.

Have you ever been on a really good streak and then all of a sudden you see someone doing it harder, better and faster and you're like "Wtf!? What about me!?", or worse, "That fucking bitch, who does she think she is?!? I can do SO MUCH BETTER. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

Wow have we all been there.

I can tell you about a few occasions I've had where I've been slapped in the face with the green eyed monster. It sucked balls. Big hairy balls.

In the early days when I was new to the acting industry, I made a new friend who was also an actress. She was bubbly and funny just like me and we hit it off straight away. We looked NOTHING alike and we totally supported each other through our journey.

Over time I noticed that she was getting a lot of auditions, there just seemed to be more work for her type. In the beginning I thought nothing of it and that my time would come. But after a while I started getting impatient wondering when my auditions were gonna come.

I started mentally noting down all the auditions she had and how many she got, it was my way of calculating how much self loathing I was gonna take into the shower that day. I became obsessed with comparing myself to her and what she was doing. 

I was driving myself nuts! Instead of concentrating on myself and my journey, I had a 24/7 subscription to what she was doing! And worst of all I made myself think that I wasn't good enough and that there wasn't anything special about me.

BIG NO NO.

Are you currently eyeing up someone else's life and all their goodies? Do you find yourself obsessing over what they're doing and achieving? Just between you and me, are you secretly jealous of their success?

This is totes normal and you should not be beating yourself up for it! Plus, I've got a few tips that'll clear this all up and get you back onto the path of YOUR awesome life!

Feel it out

We can tend to have the habit of going into serious denial when we're jealous. The funny thing is by trying to convince yourself you're not jealous, you feel more jealous. Ah frustrating!

Feelings are there for a reason, they are indicators of your awareness. Stifling them away makes them worse but going into them however, changes things up!

Allow yourself to feel the jealousy. Just feel it out. Doing this makes the feeling go away, it's crazy but it's true. You have to allow yourself to feel that part of you and once you do it's like this crazy instant shift happens and the feeling dimishes.

What are you jealous about?

So you know you're having jealousy issues and you need help. Try asking yourself what it is you're actually jealous of?

What is it about this person that's making you feel insecure and threatened? What are you scared you gonna lose? What is it about them that you feel you're missing out on? What do you want?

Understanding this about yourself helps you to think about your needs and how you can go about achieving them. You have every single thing you need, now it's time to start using those tools and resources.

Get journalling!

I LOVE my journals! And your journal is the place where you can map out your comeback plan. You answered the questions in the previous step, now's the time to create a strategy to get to where you want to be.

You should also write down your thoughts, how you feel, ideas and insight. You know the best way to work your way through this, allow yourself to do it.

What makes you awesome?

Another important thingy to do in your journal is to list out your strengths and write about what makes you so freakin' awesome!

It could be your ability to belch the alphabet or your incredible strength when it comes to athletics. Whatever it is, write it down. You are crazy talented at something, you have the beauty of the victoria's secret angels and you have the capacity to love the world - so show it to us and write it down!!

Re-focus your focus

Turn your focus all back around on to you. You're playing the role of YOU, not the audience member of someone else's life!

When you get centered back in on yourself, you forget about everyone else and your path becomes clearer. This is what being present does. So get zoned in on you in THIS moment because that's all you can take care of right now.

Potential role-model?

So, this is an extra tid-bit, some may like it, some may loathe it.

Have you ever thought about making the person you're jealous of your role-model? Have they got everything you want so much that you actually wanna wind up where they are? Why not include them in your journey? Turn it around completely  and infuse more power into your journey.

I did this with a few people I had envious feelings of and wound up becoming great friends with them AND they became a part of my journey and we both inspired each other to keep going! There seriously power in numbers.

If you start doing even one of these steps you will definitely notice a shift happening and a weight lifting and you will start getting yourself back on track!


Elise xo

The Ultimate Self Love Technique (or, Affirmations & Gratitude & Positivity Oh My!)

Affirmations are well known as a form of self-therapy to dramatically changing your psychological way of thinking about yourself. Hundreds of thousands of people recite them every day (including myself).

Gratitude has recently been scientifically proven to change your outlook on life. People who kept a gratitude journal for 3 weeks measured 25% higher on life satisfaction. They exercised more, they drank less alcohol and their family and friends noticed they were nicer to be around. The effects lasted for months from the initial 3 week period. (Stats from Marie Forleo)

Positive Energy sometimes seems like a very woo-woo concept. But in actual fact positive energy is created in specific forms of movement such as dancing, running and exercising. It's a natural release of endorphins in your body that creates a 'high'.

Now you're probably thinking 'Why the hell are you telling me about these three things?' and that is a great question!

It is because these three precious things are the main ingredients to The Ultimate Self Love Technique!

It combines affirmations with gratitude, positive energy and mirror work (which is the last ingredient + a fantastic form of self love therapy) because let's face it. Sometimes it can get really confusing (and time consuming) trying to say your affirmations, think positive thoughts then write in a gratitude journal when you've got shit to do.

That's why this Ultimate Self Love Technique is the perfect combination of the three, it's quick and easy to do!

Here's an example..



Are you in love?

Right, now your challenge is to get in front of the mirror and try exactly what young Jessica did here.

RIGHT NOW.

This is to gauge how you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror, how quick you can think of things you love about yourself and your life and how revved up you can get your energy.

After this, put it on a scale of 1 - 100, where do you think you're at right now?

We all know the goal is at 150%.

Next it's time to get out your self love journal: Write down affirmations you would like to use and things that make you insanely happy and that you really appreciate already. Make it HUGE. You can have awesome serious things as well as funny and silly things too. This is the starting list you're gonna use for the next week.

Rev yourself up with some movement: Before you begin The Ultimate Self Love Technique, you're gonna rev yourself up with some movement. Pop on your fave upbeat song *coughjustinbiebercough* and get moving. Remember the dorky dance moves I was talking about way back? Yup, use those. This is about bringing your energy up so that you can get maximum benefits from the Ultimate Self Love Technique.

Stare yourself down in the mirror: This will probably be the most confronting part of the exercise for you and that's okay. We all gotta start somewhere! Spend some time looking into your eyes in the mirror. This is an exercise that Louise Hay believes wholeheartedly in and I do as well. You are able to see through the mirror how you gauge yourself, it takes practice and this technique is going to be the perfect avenue. This is the ultimate self love secret sauce. If you can look at yourself in the mirror with love and appreciation (like this exercise is gonna give you) you're gonna be a vibrant self loving goddess!

Make it a ritual & practice everyday: Yup, if you want your life to change you gotta do it every day. You don't go to the gym once and become a pumped up body builder do you? It's making the muscle stronger. This is the key to making your life a magical 'on-purpose' event. You can do it hun!

When I started doing The Ultimate Self Love Technique I found it hard to think of stuff non stop. It wasn't until after a week of constant practice I started finding my groove!

Over time I noticed things started changing, my days were a lot more positive and little magic moments were happening all the time. My relationships became waaaay better and everything just improved. But most importantly I had a stronger sense of self.

And now? It's one of my FAVOURITE things to do each day! I literally can't wait to get out of bed to do my lil dance and incantation. It's incredibly liberating and I know you will find it seriously helpful to your self love practice.


Elise xo