You Have Permission

Today I want to share with you something I read in my new book Get Rich, Lucky Bitch by my favourite money mindset manifesting coach, Denise Duffield-Thomas.

The snippet I'm sharing with you today is something that was actually written by my favourite goddess Leonie Dawson. This particular snippet is something I found to be the most profound piece of writing I've ever read. It is so beautiful, so sentimental and from deep within Leonie's soul.

I want you to read this today and embody it. Because this is you hun, and you have permission.

You Have Permission by Leonie Dawson


Dearest Goddesss,




Today, and everyday, you have permission.




You have permission.




Today, and everyday, you have permission.




You have permission to say no to demands on your time that don’t light you up, and don’t give energy back to you.




You have permission to not give a crap what’s happening outside your world, and keep your energy focused on what you are creating.




You have permission to let go of friendships that make you feel like shit.




You have permission to say no whenever you like, however you like, in whatever kind of voice you like, without feeling like only Mean Girls Say No and Nice Girls Say Yes. That’s bull. Yes and No have equal weighting – what’s important is if you use them when they are the best thing for you, not out of fear, obligation or guilt.




You have permission to know that Yes is powerful, and so is No. The power comes from you using either from your highest spirit and truest integrity.




You have permission to change. You have permission to not be the person you once were.


You have permission to get angry and self-righteous, and to also glean the wisdom from those emotions. They are leading you to where your boundaries are, and where they have been crossed, and what you need to do from now on.




You have permission to be exactly how you are.




You have permission to not be more like anyone else in the world, even if you think they are better, wiser or more popular. You have permission to be more like yourself, your gifts and your wisdom.


You have permission to not care what other people think of you.




You have permission to not try to change what other people think of you. You can’t ever argue that you are a good person. They will either know you are, or not. You don’t need to spend time with people who don’t believe in you.




You have permission to do things that your friends and family do not.




You have permission to be wild, expressive, truthful, exciting and outspoken.




You have permission to not accept friendship requests on Facebook, or anywhere else in your life. You have permission to block people whenever you like.




You have permission to share as much or as little as you like. You have permission to blog, or not blog. You have permission to Twitter, or not to Twitter. It doesn’t really matter. As long as it’s making you happy, that’s the best thing.




You have permission to suck at a wide variety of activities. It’s okay. You make up for it with your million other brilliance particles.




You have permission to be whatever body shape you like.




You have permission to choose, and choose again. And then choose again.




You have permission to not always be a perfect image of something.




You have permission to be a contradiction.




You have permission to not go to your school reunion, unless it really excites you and delights you, and you would love to really heart-reconnect with people you went to school with.




You have permission to not be interested in the newest fad: harem pants, geek glasses, polaroid cameras, scrapbooking, macrame. You also have permission to be totally obsessed with them, if it makes your heart light up.




You have permission to cut people from your life. You have permission to surround yourself with people who are good and loving and nurturing to you.




You have permission to be a disappointment to some people, as long as you’re not a disappointment to yourself.




You have permission to do nothing whenever you like.




You have permission to make your big dream come true.




You have permission to not do it all perfectly, or have all your shit together.




You have permission to not forgive people. You have permission to forgive people when it’s right for you.




You have permission to think some people are crazy. You have permission to think some people are smigging ice-cream with chocolate and wafers and sprinkles and cherries on top.




You have permission to not have the perfect relationship.




You have permission to not have a relationship.




You have permission to take whatever time you need for you.




You have permission to make ridiculous choices for yourself.




You have permission to use and listen to your intuition. To feel when things are off, and to remove yourself from them, even when you don’t quite know why. You will always find out why. Our intuition is here to serve us.




You have permission to be down. You have permission to be up.




You have permission to still believe in unicorns and fairies.




You have permission to believe in things that other people think are very very odd and strange.


You have permission to not care.


You have permission to believe in things that make your life wholer, richer and deeper.


You have permission to make your own world that is the truest painting of you.




You have permission to suck at colouring in.




You have permission to say bugger off to anyone who has ever told you that you’re not good enough, you’re not worth it, you are not beautiful, you are not lovable and you are not the most divine, wise, delicious Goddess to walk the planet.




You have permission to know that you are.




You have permission to swear when you like, however you like, to your reckless abandon.




You have permission to not be the best of anything – just the best of yourself. And some days, just the best you can do that day.




You have permission to not always give. You have permission to fill your own cup up first.




You have permission to have things around you that delight you.




You have permission to live in a tipi if you want to, or a mansion. Whatever makes your spirit shine is the right thing for you.




You have permission to make choices on whether it makes your spirit shine.




You have permission to know you are a goddess, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Even when you feel utterly human. Even when you want nothing more than to climb under your blanket, or light up the sky.




You are a goddess.




You have permission.




You have permission.




You have permission.

The Conversation We Need To Be Having

As women, our hearts are a deep ocean of secrets (totally stole that line from Titanic). And in our hearts we hold our sadness, our joy, our humility, our love, our pain, our kindness and our loneliness.  and instead of expressing our deep suffering we lock it away deep inside.

What I have observed this week has both surprised and shocked me. I've received messages, emails and comments from... well.. you! Explaining to me how you're in the same boat, you feel like a failure, you're trying to change and you're just miserable anyway.

Yesterday, I posted a comment on Marie Forleo's wall in regards to her (super timely) video she posted. It was about feeling lost & what to do when everything's fallen apart, I highly recommend you watch if you are in fact feeling stuck.

You can read that comment below. (please excuse my poor english, it was 1:30am..)

And (unexpectedly) straight after I posted that comment an influx of replies from women popped up. All who swore I was talking about their lives..

This is the conversation we need to be having more of and it isn't happening as much as it should be.

We need to be talking about our loneliness, admitting our embarrassment at 'failure' and loving our sadness. There's nothing more powerful than feminine support, and the moment we start releasing the burden and the heaviness, healing begins.

I invite you, not to be ashamed of where you're at in life, how much you've let yourself go or how you just can't motivate yourself to try anymore; but to embrace healing, embrace support, embrace love, embrace self-belief again.

Love your sadness, but also love yourself.

I'm here for you if you need me.x

What's My Style?

One of the exciting things about consciously and purposefully choosing to create a life you love is that you HAVE to give yourself permission to have the things you really want and LOVE.

It can be challenging... scratch that, it IS challenging when you've habituated heading straight for the sale section at Kmart. But like everything else this is an exploration journey into my own personal style in fashion, decor, beauty, home, food, fitness and other exciting things I discover along the way!

I want to encourage you to do the same, there are no limits to what you can imagine and dream up for yourself. Jump on the 'f**k yeah!' train with me and start thinking about your own style. Not what's convenient, cheap or what everyone else says is cool, but what you can't get enough of (even if you think it's lame or won't allow yourself to have it).

What's My Wardrobe, Makeup & Beauty Style?

I love dresses, sparkles and LOTS of vibrant colour, usually from ASOS, yet I rock a hoodie and black trackies most days? Oy vey. To be honest, I always let my size and shape hold me back from really allowing myself to wear those beautiful and vibrant fabrics. But that WILL change over these next 6 months because I refuse to leave my 20s without having rocked a bikini confidently!

When it comes to makeup and beauty prods, I am kind of a late bloomer. Infact I'm still blooming! I was a tomboy most of my teenage years so makeup was not a priority on my list, when I hit my 20s I just kind of mimicked my friends, I had no siblings to teach me and my mother never wears makeup! So I've been in quite a conundrum.. until now!

Something I really wanna learn is how to look after my skin easily and how to apply makeup that's natural and not layered on (sensitive skin has taught me A LOT). So be sure that a post is gonna be coming where I ask you for YOUR advice on most things beauty and makeup!

I'm excited to finally give myself the permission to raise my standards and only choose clothes, shoes, accessories, makeup and beauty products that I truly love. This is going to be a fun adventure!

What's My Fitness, Food & Spirituality Style?

I've already put my feelers out for running, yoga, sea swimming, boxing and gymnastics. It's ambitious but hey that's the thing about figuring out your style, if you don't like it you don't have to keep doing it.

Trying out fitness and food with a brand new perspective is going to be really interesting and I'm sure at times very VERY challenging. But for me it's about looking at this from an experimental 'just dipping my toes in' perspective and not just taking away all of my toys.

I love meditation and have already started exploring this further and really figuring out my style. I love guided meditation but also just zoning out to relaxing music. I find it too difficult without some sort of audio as my mind just wanders and I prefer to sit in a reeeeeally comfy chair. It's gonna be fun learning to sit for longer sessions. I hope to get to an hour at a time.

What's My Home, Decor & Office Style?

I've always wanted a beautiful home with lots of colour but I also feel like I have several different personalities when it comes to decor! On top of that I've never lived with a boy on my own so when Scott and I move out together later this year it's going to be an interesting endeavor trying to blend both of our personal styles.

I feel like I need 1000 different rooms for my home style! I'm going to play around with one room at a time and really try to bring the best harmonizing energy for that room. And since I'm going to be working from home, I'm secretly squealing at the fact I get to design my own dream office!

The inspiration is going to be endless, by the time we actually get our own place I will have EVERY detail planned right down to the skirting boards! And then I'll be able to write about the process with your fab input!

What is YOUR style hun? 

What are you obsessed with? What do you constantly browse for no reason than just to oogle at the prettiness? What makes you gasp with delight and think "Oh. my. god. I LOVE that!"? What are you constantly pinning? What colours do you gravitate towards? (Let me know in the comments below!)

Let's fill our lives with THOSE not because it's indulgent or because we can, but simply because they make us FEEL GOOD.

Soul-Goals: My Roadmap to a Life Less Ordinary

All I can say is Wow.

I am stunned and completely moved by your amazing responses to my last post. Your emails, facebook messages and comments have uplifted my spirit and given me so much hope. I feel so supported and understood and from the bottom of my heart I thank you for reaching out to me. You are truly an amazing person.

With any journey, there needs to be some sort of a roadmap (even if incredibly vague). Deep down, most of us know how we want to feel in our dream life and so I'm using that as my baseline for mapping my own journey! (If you're not sure of how you want to feel, I highly recommend you get The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte).

I have three core soul-goals I really want to achieve. They're biggies, but I know they will make a huge difference to my life if I just start heading in the direction of them. I know it's not about 'being' anything or 'getting' anywhere nor is it in any way about 'perfection'. These are the goals and achievements my soul craves.

Soul-Goal #1: Make My Wellness a Priority

Self Care: I have neglected myself for far too long. I 100% believe in self love and self care and even know the true benefits of what 'taking care of yourself' does to your life, yet I still let it go by the way side. I know all of these things make me feel good, I just keep avoiding them. I don't know if it's out of fear or laziness but you can bet your ass I am going to make a conscious effort to change this. Bring on daily meditation, mini spa treatments & time for 'play' every day!

Get Active + Have a Love Affair With Food: Call it exercise, fitness or working out, I personally want to move away from those definitions because I associate negatively to them. For me it's about re-connecting with my body and just being active. I've  had terrible body and weight issues, I've shunned, b*tched and picked on her for so long & it hasn't done my well-being any favors. I've recently come to discover I am an emotional eater. The days leading up to my meltdown I was shoving chocolate down like it wasn't going to be produced anymore. I had no idea why but after I let it all out, my eating patterns returned to normal. I don't believe in deprivation or dieting, I'm excited about trying on the new 80/20 lifestyle for size. I think it's a winner.

Make My Home A Beautiful Love Nest: Gotta say, never in a million years thought I'd ever wanna make a love nest. But as I've gotten older I realize just how important your living environment is so I'm going to discover my personal style and figure out my taste in decor. I will bring more of the colours that make me feel alive as well as finally create my dream wardrobe. No more cheap clothes that will do for now. I'm going to create the most fun, beautiful and romantic way of living.


 Soul-Goal #2: Create even more of an EPIC Love Story

Sexy Dates: One of my favourite things to do with my man is our date nights. It could be dinner and a movie, glow in the dark mini-golf or a night at a boutique hotel. I really want to focus more on this and create even more beautiful, meaningful and sexy dates.

Romantic Adventures: Due to finances we haven't been able to get away as much as previous years. It can sometimes really take a toll on the romance in a relationship but that's why I'm going to spend these next 6 months cultivating new and romantic ways we can go on adventures, even if it's in our own backyard! Nothing delights me more than surprising my man with a fun gift or a beautiful dinner so I want to make a conscious effort to do it more often. Especially for small celebrations that we tend to shrug off. We're both working toward things were so deeply passionate about, so when either of us make a little progress - it's going to be made into a party!


Soul-Goal #3: Build a Beautiful & Fun Lifestyle Biz

Heart-Centered Blogging: I'm going to write more posts from my heart than anything. I want to be as real and authentic as I can possibly be about the subjects I'm going to be writing about. I aim to make this blog a buzzing community of young fun-loving, ambitious and confident women who wanna take on life by the horns.


Abundance: As with any business comes abundance and money. In the next 6 months I want to not only transform my life but my business as well. I want to create an incredible lifestyle business that is inspiring, evoking & loveable. Bring it.


If you have the courage, I would really (really) be honored if you shared some of your soul-goals with me in the comments below. This is your first step in showing up for yourself, declaring what you want (and don't want) even if you're not 100% sure of it. Let's celebrate this first step by standing up for ourselves. I know you can do it hun!

All images sourced here

My EPIC Melt Down

You know that moment when you're non-chalantly cradling yourself in the corner of your bedroom, in the dark, shaking hysterically, LIKE A CRAZY PERSON, and suddenly he walks through the door and you sort of panic because you know that this looks really bad - horrifying actually - like a snippet out of The Conjuring. And you don't quite know how he's going to react but you can't shake yourself out of it, and anyway if you just get up act like nothing was completely disturbing about that, holy shit you WILL actually look like a lunatic!

Not to mention, who in their life has ever hit rock bottom gracefully? No one, ever!

So you're here.

Where I was.

What do you do now?

When you feel so overwhelmingly anxious you can't bring yourself to leave the house?

When you can't stop worrying endlessly about your relationship?

When you don't actually know why you're so unhappy or why you feel helpless to do anything about it?

What do you do when you're so burdened by inertia, you can't see straight?

Make a promise.

To yourself.

Not a goal or an objective with a trillion micro details.

A promise.

That no matter how bad it gets, no matter how emotional, confusing, challenging or surprising it becomes - you're going to break out of it.

You're gonna get the old you back.

And then keep that promise to yourself.

Work at it.

Dedicate yourself to you.

Re-explore who you are, who you used to be.

Change your surroundings, your environment.

Whatever isn't making you happy right now, let it go, get rid of it.

Figure out what exhilarates you, gives you butterflies and makes you snort-laugh till your ribs sting.

Go on an epic adventure with yourself & watch as you slowly but surely change back into the vibrant, bubbly, happy-go-lucky person you used to be - with a few extra improved add-ons I might add. 

Focus on you, on how you feel about yourself, your love for your life.

You'll stumble, many times in fact, that's certain.

But keep going, you'll get there.

Live Fabulously: Creating a life on your terms! (Interview with Elaine Sarantakos)

I cannot contain my excitement for todays epic interview in the Girl Power Series! You are about to meet a woman who I have been obsessed with for years! Her name is Elaine Sarantakos, she is a fabulous living coach and spends her time traveling the world to exotic locations. I know, how exciting right!?

In this interview you will learn how you can start to live a fabulous life on your terms, how possible it is to do work you love & travel the world and 3 core habits to adapt that will change your life! Leggo!

1. You are a FABULOUS living AND travelling coach! What made you decide to combine those two things?

It's not really that I am saying I am fabulous, but saying that anyone can create their fabulous life. My fabulous life includes having lots of travel in it, which many be different than someone else's definition.

Your job is to create the definition of what you think fabulous living is, and align your life with the definition, so that you are in harmony with it. I like to inspire people to live out their dreams through my travel stories and videos.

2. How is it that you can just travel around the world constantly? What's your secret?

At different points in my life, I have travelled in different ways that are not traditional, which allowed me to constantly be travelling. When I was 16 years old I did an exchange program to Mexico for three months to learn Spanish. After high school I studied Hotel Management in Athens, Greece for three years at a Swiss hotel school, and in the summers was on the Greek islands.

Having studied Hotel Management, I then worked in the Cayman Islands for a year, following with a year in the Canadian Rockies. I was also an Au-Pair in Spain for three months the summer of 2009.

In 2011, I wanted to create a travel reality project/dream. I created a reality where I worked three weeks a month in Toronto and the last week of every month I went away on vacation blogging and vlogging.

I manifested cheap flights, and used couchsurfing and hotels for my accommodation to make this possible. It was a monthly adventure one after another having 12 vacation, in 12 months.

3. If I wanted to mimic a similar AMAZING lifestyle just like you, how do you recommend I should go about it?

Right now I am not travelling every month. My "travel reality" was a dream project that I had for one year. I think the best way to mimic this lifestyle is to take advantage of opportunities that are out there. Anyone can google and find a plethora of travel related things to do, and jobs to work abroad.

You need to want it and be open to it. In terms of the monthly travels, it doesn't  matter what the work you are actually doing is, rather the schedule you have. If you have the space, you can create the lifestyle.

4. What is the craziest travelling experience you've manifested in your life so far?

I have had lots of crazy travelling experiences I've manifested from three months in Spain after seeing the movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona and deciding the following day to leave, to creating a reality of going on vacation once a month.

One of my earliest manifestations was when I was 12 years old after returning back to Canada after a trip to Greece. I thought Greece was so beautiful, and I told my Mother after high school I was going to move there. I calculated the days to finishing grade 12 and make a calendar.

For the first weeks I would cross of the days. It wasn't until a few years after I came back from living in Greece a few years later, that I realized I manifested and lived in Greece after high school from my thoughts when I was 12 years old. That was REALLY COOL!

5. What is your favourite country/city you've visited so far and where is somewhere new you would love to go?

I don't have a favourite country because I appreciate different things for different reasons when travelling to places. I can't compare the Canadian Rockies to Dubai, where you have natural and man-made land.

I do know that I prefer old places full of history and stories of the past versus man-made or new places. I LOVE European architecture. My two places that come instantly on my mind are India and Argentina for new places to visit.

6. Alright, let's get deep for a moment - do you sometimes get tired of moving from place to place?

Yes, I do get tired at times. Not all of my travels have had me travelling constantly which helps. Last week I had a flight to Chicago, which I cancelled because I was busy with things in Toronto and was tired to go. Imagine being tired to travel? :P

7. Do you believe that particular countries and places have a profound spiritual effect on you?

Whenever I travel to Greece, I have this feeling that I can't explain. Being born in Canada, and being of Greek heritage I have a connection for sure.

I love Canada and feel it's my home ( It will forever be my home. I always get so happy when I land in YYZ.), but when I land in Greece it's my soul. It's as if in front of ancient ruins all of my being, and soul rejoices. :)

8. What is one core thing you LOVE to teach your coaching clients who want what you've got?

I have 3 core things!!!

1. I always teach that everything happens in baby steps. Don't get scared looking at how big the goal is, but work on the small steps you can do today.


2. Take ACTION. Nothing happens unless you take action. You have to use the words ending in ING!!!!


3. No one just changes their career instantly from working to being a full-time entrepreneur. Things take time which is all perfect timing. You need to work while learning or taking a course, then you need to build for example a site, and so on and so on. Don't think in your head you need to make x amount of money before you start working on your business idea.
   
   P.S Entrepreneurs are always working!

9. Do you have any juicy tips for those wanting to start making change in their lives even if they don't want to travel?

I don't only do travel coaching, but personal life coaching. A juicy tip would be to start becoming clear of what your own definition of fabulous living is and live it.

No one can tell you how to live your fabulous life because they have not had the same experiences you have had, nor preferences of interests. Become clear and live it!

10. Where on the web can we find you?

You can find me at Fabulous Living Coach, watch me on youtube, follow me on twitter, pinterest and facebook.

11. Ever thought about coming to New Zealand? ;)

Yes of course New Zealand is on my bucket list! I have my cousins wedding in Melbourne next February of 2014, so I will be coming. Most of my family in the world lives down under! :)

I was raised in Australia until I was 9, and have an Aussie passport. I know people could never imagine that with my Canadian accent, but I was a little girl playing under a gum tree and I can sing you the Australian National Anthem and Waltzing Matilda. :P

The simplest, most effective way to deal with sh*tty experiences.

I handle stress about as well as a 2yr old handles her toys being taken off her. Not well.

I had this one experience not long ago where everything just seemed to go wrong. It felt like no matter what I did or how much I tried to make it better (with meditation, forgiveness, good thoughts etc) it would not improve. In fact it got worse!

So I switched to complaining, b*tching and getting what I really thought off my chest thinking that maybe that's what I needed to do. That didn't work either.

It's like the universe was literally taking a giant sh*t on my face (Excuse the vulgarity, but that's exactly what I blurted out to a friend. We both laughed hysterically).

But ya know, it's inevitable that we're all gonna have those moments in life when sh*t hits the fan and we just gotta deal with it the best we can.

As you might imagine, that didn't sit too well with me.

So instead I went looking for (more) solutions.

Maybe you found out your boyfriend has cheated on you or maybe you had a fight with your mother. You could have just made the most epic mistake at work or just seem to have one sh*t thing happening after the other to you. Either way I am proud to announce that I FINALLY discovered a simple (yet effective) way to deal with those experiences.

WARNING: You may not like it because it requires action on your part.

How to Eliminate Stress & Feeling Like Sh*t all the Time

1) Ask yourself, "How did this experience make me feel?", and write down everything you felt.

Was it anger, frustration or helplessness? Did you feel like you just wanted to burst out in tears? Did you just want to scream or hit something? Get specific and just run it like pure consciousness. This is an insanely awesome exercise to get those deep set feelings off your chest and out of you.

2) Knowing how it made you feel, now write down how would prefer to feel instead.

If this situation could have gone differently, would you have prefered to feel at ease, stressless or relaxed? Would you rather feel at peace or just forget the whole thing? This part of the exercise is crucial to helping you feel better about it.

3) And lastly referring to the previous list, what are 2 - 3 things that you can do right now that would make you feel better?

This is not about finding solutions, it's about finding a way for YOU to feel better right now. So if you prefered to feel relaxed, maybe you could take a bath or go and get a massage. If you wrote down that you'd be happier if you felt at ease, maybe a meditation session is a great idea or buying yourself some beautiful flowers for your dining room.

This is my instant stress-solver, sure it doesn't eliminate the actual sh*tty situation that has happened, but it's never about the situation in the first place. It's about how YOU feel about what's happened.

So if you can get yourself into a better feeling place about this stressful experience by using this exercise, you my dear have successfully learned how to think in a completely new way.

Change your outlook, change your life. (click to tweet)

Your action plan today is to tell me what is one thing you are going to do to make yourself feel better in your stressful situation. What is something that'd make you feel FANTASTIC right now? I bet it's not moping in bed!