DON'T Make a Resolution to Lose Weight

Just don't do it. Don't do that to yourself.

There is so much negativity tied up in that one declaration.

1. You're telling yourself you're not good enough now.
2. You're purposely setting yourself up to fail.
3. It makes you feel bad about yourself.

All great indicators not to make that damn resolution.

Instead, make a resolution to work on your thoughts, to better how you feel and do all the fun and exciting things you would do if you were already thin. Stop waiting on the weight. Go to the root of the problem, not the cause.

Believe it or not, those three examples lead to weight loss. Say whaaat? You didn't see anything about weight loss in there!

Yup, training your mind and not your ass and doing before getting is a more healthy way to lose weight but also the fastest way to lose weight..

How do I figure that?

As Marianne Williamson and Tony Robbins both say.. "Your body is a response to your thoughts, not the other way around."

Read that again; Your body is a response to your thoughts.

Your thoughts are the cause of your wanting to lose weight (or gain it), your body isn't!! Poor thing is just responding to what you're thinking.

So my friend, if your resolution is to lose the weight or get fit..

Intend to work on the mind because until you start making changes to your psychology you'll yo-yo around diets and exercise. You'll lose the weight only to gain it back because you didn't work on the foundation.

AND

Give yourself permission to do the things you wanna do when you're thin, right now. That's actually the real secret to weight loss, letting yourself be who you truly are. So stop waiting on the weight and go out and buy that hot dress, become self employed, pursue your dancing dreams and LIVE. The point of life is to LIVE, not wait till everything is perfectly lined up.

Be kind to yourself over these holidays, use my favourite affirmation "I am perfect the way I am as I am"

Don't beat yourself up for not sticking to your daily practice/exercise routine/diet over this period. This time is about relaxation, recuperation and being with loved ones.

Your worth is not tied up in your size, your weight or body image. You are perfect now.

Let's make 2013 the year we stop punishing ourselves. I'm with you on this one too buddy.


Elise xo

The Good Girl's Guide to Dealing With Jealousy

Jealousy & envy can hit the best of us at the most inconvenient times.

Have you ever been on a really good streak and then all of a sudden you see someone doing it harder, better and faster and you're like "Wtf!? What about me!?", or worse, "That fucking bitch, who does she think she is?!? I can do SO MUCH BETTER. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

Wow have we all been there.

I can tell you about a few occasions I've had where I've been slapped in the face with the green eyed monster. It sucked balls. Big hairy balls.

In the early days when I was new to the acting industry, I made a new friend who was also an actress. She was bubbly and funny just like me and we hit it off straight away. We looked NOTHING alike and we totally supported each other through our journey.

Over time I noticed that she was getting a lot of auditions, there just seemed to be more work for her type. In the beginning I thought nothing of it and that my time would come. But after a while I started getting impatient wondering when my auditions were gonna come.

I started mentally noting down all the auditions she had and how many she got, it was my way of calculating how much self loathing I was gonna take into the shower that day. I became obsessed with comparing myself to her and what she was doing. 

I was driving myself nuts! Instead of concentrating on myself and my journey, I had a 24/7 subscription to what she was doing! And worst of all I made myself think that I wasn't good enough and that there wasn't anything special about me.

BIG NO NO.

Are you currently eyeing up someone else's life and all their goodies? Do you find yourself obsessing over what they're doing and achieving? Just between you and me, are you secretly jealous of their success?

This is totes normal and you should not be beating yourself up for it! Plus, I've got a few tips that'll clear this all up and get you back onto the path of YOUR awesome life!

Feel it out

We can tend to have the habit of going into serious denial when we're jealous. The funny thing is by trying to convince yourself you're not jealous, you feel more jealous. Ah frustrating!

Feelings are there for a reason, they are indicators of your awareness. Stifling them away makes them worse but going into them however, changes things up!

Allow yourself to feel the jealousy. Just feel it out. Doing this makes the feeling go away, it's crazy but it's true. You have to allow yourself to feel that part of you and once you do it's like this crazy instant shift happens and the feeling dimishes.

What are you jealous about?

So you know you're having jealousy issues and you need help. Try asking yourself what it is you're actually jealous of?

What is it about this person that's making you feel insecure and threatened? What are you scared you gonna lose? What is it about them that you feel you're missing out on? What do you want?

Understanding this about yourself helps you to think about your needs and how you can go about achieving them. You have every single thing you need, now it's time to start using those tools and resources.

Get journalling!

I LOVE my journals! And your journal is the place where you can map out your comeback plan. You answered the questions in the previous step, now's the time to create a strategy to get to where you want to be.

You should also write down your thoughts, how you feel, ideas and insight. You know the best way to work your way through this, allow yourself to do it.

What makes you awesome?

Another important thingy to do in your journal is to list out your strengths and write about what makes you so freakin' awesome!

It could be your ability to belch the alphabet or your incredible strength when it comes to athletics. Whatever it is, write it down. You are crazy talented at something, you have the beauty of the victoria's secret angels and you have the capacity to love the world - so show it to us and write it down!!

Re-focus your focus

Turn your focus all back around on to you. You're playing the role of YOU, not the audience member of someone else's life!

When you get centered back in on yourself, you forget about everyone else and your path becomes clearer. This is what being present does. So get zoned in on you in THIS moment because that's all you can take care of right now.

Potential role-model?

So, this is an extra tid-bit, some may like it, some may loathe it.

Have you ever thought about making the person you're jealous of your role-model? Have they got everything you want so much that you actually wanna wind up where they are? Why not include them in your journey? Turn it around completely  and infuse more power into your journey.

I did this with a few people I had envious feelings of and wound up becoming great friends with them AND they became a part of my journey and we both inspired each other to keep going! There seriously power in numbers.

If you start doing even one of these steps you will definitely notice a shift happening and a weight lifting and you will start getting yourself back on track!


Elise xo

The Ultimate Self Love Technique (or, Affirmations & Gratitude & Positivity Oh My!)

Affirmations are well known as a form of self-therapy to dramatically changing your psychological way of thinking about yourself. Hundreds of thousands of people recite them every day (including myself).

Gratitude has recently been scientifically proven to change your outlook on life. People who kept a gratitude journal for 3 weeks measured 25% higher on life satisfaction. They exercised more, they drank less alcohol and their family and friends noticed they were nicer to be around. The effects lasted for months from the initial 3 week period. (Stats from Marie Forleo)

Positive Energy sometimes seems like a very woo-woo concept. But in actual fact positive energy is created in specific forms of movement such as dancing, running and exercising. It's a natural release of endorphins in your body that creates a 'high'.

Now you're probably thinking 'Why the hell are you telling me about these three things?' and that is a great question!

It is because these three precious things are the main ingredients to The Ultimate Self Love Technique!

It combines affirmations with gratitude, positive energy and mirror work (which is the last ingredient + a fantastic form of self love therapy) because let's face it. Sometimes it can get really confusing (and time consuming) trying to say your affirmations, think positive thoughts then write in a gratitude journal when you've got shit to do.

That's why this Ultimate Self Love Technique is the perfect combination of the three, it's quick and easy to do!

Here's an example..



Are you in love?

Right, now your challenge is to get in front of the mirror and try exactly what young Jessica did here.

RIGHT NOW.

This is to gauge how you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror, how quick you can think of things you love about yourself and your life and how revved up you can get your energy.

After this, put it on a scale of 1 - 100, where do you think you're at right now?

We all know the goal is at 150%.

Next it's time to get out your self love journal: Write down affirmations you would like to use and things that make you insanely happy and that you really appreciate already. Make it HUGE. You can have awesome serious things as well as funny and silly things too. This is the starting list you're gonna use for the next week.

Rev yourself up with some movement: Before you begin The Ultimate Self Love Technique, you're gonna rev yourself up with some movement. Pop on your fave upbeat song *coughjustinbiebercough* and get moving. Remember the dorky dance moves I was talking about way back? Yup, use those. This is about bringing your energy up so that you can get maximum benefits from the Ultimate Self Love Technique.

Stare yourself down in the mirror: This will probably be the most confronting part of the exercise for you and that's okay. We all gotta start somewhere! Spend some time looking into your eyes in the mirror. This is an exercise that Louise Hay believes wholeheartedly in and I do as well. You are able to see through the mirror how you gauge yourself, it takes practice and this technique is going to be the perfect avenue. This is the ultimate self love secret sauce. If you can look at yourself in the mirror with love and appreciation (like this exercise is gonna give you) you're gonna be a vibrant self loving goddess!

Make it a ritual & practice everyday: Yup, if you want your life to change you gotta do it every day. You don't go to the gym once and become a pumped up body builder do you? It's making the muscle stronger. This is the key to making your life a magical 'on-purpose' event. You can do it hun!

When I started doing The Ultimate Self Love Technique I found it hard to think of stuff non stop. It wasn't until after a week of constant practice I started finding my groove!

Over time I noticed things started changing, my days were a lot more positive and little magic moments were happening all the time. My relationships became waaaay better and everything just improved. But most importantly I had a stronger sense of self.

And now? It's one of my FAVOURITE things to do each day! I literally can't wait to get out of bed to do my lil dance and incantation. It's incredibly liberating and I know you will find it seriously helpful to your self love practice.


Elise xo

Blog Post Removed

(or, The Inner Vibrance Secrets eBook FREE Introduction Snippet)

[SIDENOTE: This is a snippet from The Inner Vibrance Secrets eBook that is being released next month (Dec). You get to read  the introduction - for free! I hope you enjoy and it speaks to you and if you want to be in the loop about when the eBook is released so you can get your hands on a copy + the goodies that are coming with it, make sure you sign up to The IVP List if you haven't already!]

There's something you don't know about me...

Something that would probably shock you if you knew because it's something I haven't allowed myself to expose until now. It's something very personal and close to my heart and it's only been until recently that the wounds have finally started to heal.

Vulnerable doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how I'm feeling right now. But I truly believe that you need to know this and that it will help you even more on this journey to inner vibrance that you're about to begin.

I want you to know that whatever you're going through, whether it's average, bad, shit or life threatening - you have the power to turn it all around for the better. It will get better, I promise you.

The last two years of my life have been somewhat challenging. I haven't really been able to talk about them with anyone until now because it took this much time to work through the baggage I'd been hauling.

A year prior, I was at an all time low in life. I had reached the end of my fling of miserable relationships, I was directionless chasing a dream that was slowly becoming a burden and my life was pure chaos with little peaks of happiness during weekends of binge drinking.

Around the same time, my stunningly gorgeous mother had planned a trip to Europe for my 21st (How amazing is my mother? Seriously). It was here in Europe that my inner vibrance journey started.

When I returned home I had gained something that couldn't be explained, it just was. Things were different, life was incredible and one night a woman changed my life when she waltzed up to me on a dance floor and complimented me on my 'vibrance'.

What you don't know is that after a while that vibrancy changed.

Getting course corrected by the universe..

It all started when I met my AMAZING man. However, I thought he was an absolute douche on our first meeting. He was loud, obnoxious and totally into me so OF COURSE I didn't like him.

I was an independent girl with her finger on the world and I could do whatever I wanted when I wanted because I didn't have to listen to nobody!

Although I was vibrant and independent I had become selfish and careless when it came to men.

The universe was about to shake things up! (I've learned that when you've been 'off-course' for too long - the universe will course correct you whether you want it or not.)

He challenged me in SO MANY ways that I literally became a stroppy tantrum throwing teenager once again. He called me out on my shit, he confronted me when I didn't wanna talk and he loved me even when I didn't deserve it.

Vibrant or not, I still had maaany demons I had to deal with.

Hitting bottom..

Shoot to mid year, me and my bestie had planned a trip to Melbourne with our newly acquired boyfriends. (But secretly the trip was actually just for me and my bestie because we wanted to go away together).

That all changed through miscommunication. Dates were changed and she was heading off to Melbourne with just her bf. I was angry and pissed (like a stroppy teenager once again) that she didn't tell me. But the real truth is that I was pissed that I had been replaced by a guy.

From that day I was too stubborn to admit anything or talk things through. I ignored her and wouldn't reply to any of her messages, so that was our friendship over.

Shoot to a few months later my amazing job wasn't all that amazing anymore. New management had taken over and I started getting harassed and bullied by people who were over 30 years older than me.

I was called a whore, a bitch and I was pushed over a couple of times. And worst of all I had to take them to court for it all (which I DO NOT recommend to anyone, it is not worth the damage of your spirit!)

I was so hurt, damaged and broken. And to seal the deal I isolated myself, I didn't see my friends for months and I turned to food for comfort. (Wow, can I pack on some weight or what!?!)

What started out as an amazing year turned to absolute shit.

This was bottom.

Sometimes the only way to light is through darkness..

The new year had arrived and although my spirit, my mind and my body was wounded, something else was guiding me to change things (kind of like how something guided you to read this.)

I quit (my last ever) job in retail. I decided to never go back to shit pay, stressful work conditions and no recognition. I decided to partially move back home with mum. (I live half a week with her in my home town and half a week with my bf in the city). I made myself buy books that would help improve my life, I tried and tested the exercises and techniques and I made a promise to myself that I would commit to this and keep at it no matter what happens.

Well, all I can say is that 2012 has been a very colourful year of contrast. Inner battles raged on and became more violent as I shone light on them. Repressed feelings, emotions and memories attacked at my most vulnerable moments. I laughed, I cried, I grieved for my best friend. I let guilt run me for a while and then anger took over for a bit there as well.

I went to hell and back several times.

But all through that I kept my promise to myself, no matter how painful it got, and now I am strong (really strong) mentally, emotionally and physically. I know my worth & I OWN it and most importantly I 100% love myself exactly the way that I am right now.

I can talk about this now because I have healed, I have done the work and it no longer defines me. I'm not ruled by these experiences and they no longer have a hold over me.

I want you to know that no matter where you are in life, whether you're in a mindset of scarcity, you're heartbroken, you're lost, you're low on self esteem & self sabotaging. Whether you're being bullied, dealing with depression, blaming yourself, feeling guilty or on the verge of breaking down. Or even if you just want a change - YOU CAN DO IT.

You can change your life and become the most positive, loving and vibrant version of yourself. You can heal your pain, overcome your demons and make peace with your inner battles. You can be happy, really happy, you can live with passion and aliveness and you create a life that you never even imagined was possible. It all starts with YOU.

In this eBook, we will get raw and strip down. You will learn everything I have gone through and the steps I took to work through my shit, my inner-battles and demons. You will have your own set of tasks to complete in each section, some will resonate with you, others won't so much. Do what works for you and discard the rest.

You will be challenged, you will want to give it up at some point because it seems like too much effort. Remember, this is the ego trying everything it can to bring you back to feeling worthless. Keep on it. You only live once and now that you've got this ebook things are gonna start changing.

If I can do it I sure as hell know you can too.

Let's make it ridonkulous shall we?

Elise xo

How I Listen to My Inner Guidance (& How You Can Connect With Yours)

When I was about 15, I got my first taste of spirituality in the form of psychic, magic, tarot and spirit guides. I still have a couple of tarot decks to prove it!

[Rider Waite > can't go wrong with traditional, Doreen Virtue's Angel Tarot Cards > perfect for beginners and Thoth Tarot Deck > better for the advanced, these have quite a dark energy.]

I loved that shit. I even learned how to do tarot readings. I think I read for two people and I got a lot of stuff 'right' but it was a lot of work and to be honest it kinda scared the shit outta me.

I was on the search for guidance and wisdom. I wanted to find my place in the world and I wanted to be a part of something more meaningful than maths homework and who hooked up with who at a random party I wasn't invited to over the weekend.

In my studies, I was taught a lot about spirit guides and how you have maaaaany different ones + extras come and go over time. Like around that time till I was about 18 I had a beautiful woman who had the most mesmerizing green eyes and the longest, shinest brunette hair I'd ever seen. She was always around when I went through challenges (and let me tell you... there were A LOT of challenges).

Well, she's gone now, and now there's this dude called... well I can let you know how our little convo went the other day. This is how my inner guidance likes to work...

Picture this: I'm sitting on a concrete park bench in what seems like wine country overlooking a large paddock with about 5 auburn coloured horses. It's sunset and I can hear the birds singing goodnight to other birdy friends in trees nearby. There's distant voices of children playing outside before their parents call them in for dinner, a low rumble of the 5 o'clock traffic on their way home and the air has a calm almost zen-like sound whizzing through the air.

I just had an argument with my man, I feel like shit and I have every right to because it was my fault. I look out over the paddock and quietly ask myself in the back of my mind... "What do I do?"

Suddenly this voice comes out of nowhere, "You talk to me."

"What do I call you?"

"Elmo."

"Elmo......"

"Trust me, you're gonna remember me."

"Okay..."

"How do you feel?"

"Awful. I just sabotaged that whole experience."

"Oh right, so you're only human after all."

"But I should have known better, I do this every single time."

"And what do you do every single time you do this?"

"...Run away......"

"Okay, so maybe it's time to try a new angle?"

"How?"

"Well, getting out to clear your head and breathe some fresh air is always good for the soul. You get so cooped up on that computer of yours you forget to come here and smell the scent on the air and listen to the stillness. Running away from your problems is the quick fix to a deeper problem. It takes courage and perseverance to go back into the fire and communicate. But you know that that's the only way for you because you have built so much trust and respect into this relationship you would be letting yourself down. You know you can do this, you know you will."

"Yeah, you're right."

Boom!

This is how my inner guidance works and I love it this way. Because the truth is, I believe that the wisdom and messages I receive are from deep within myself. Everything there is to know, I know already. It just so happens that my way of delivering those messages to myself are in the form of putting a name and face to the message. I like the idea of 'something else' out there that's got my back. Whatever it is be it the universe, higher self, inner guidance or spirit guides. It's all the same.

So whether you're thinking "Holy shit, this girl is a nutbar." or "That is so cool! I wanna learn how to do that!" here are a couple of ways you can start connecting with your inner guidance.

+ Find a Peaceful Place

When I used to actively seek guidance, I would always head to one of my favourite parks in all of Auckland and find a lovely park bench situated among a beautiful rose garden. Listening to the birds and the water fountain was so peaceful and I felt I could easily connect with myself there. Do you have a peaceful place? If so where is it? Search for a peaceful place that suits you.

+ Calm Your Mind & Listen

Guidance can't come to you if your stressing about something or your too busy facebooking. Take time to rest your thoughts and just listen to the silence. Try not to think about anything, just get lost in the moment of silence and see what happens.

+ Ask a Question

While you're listening to the silence, send out a wee question to test the waters. Sometimes the answer is immediate, sometimes it takes a while and sometimes it doesn't come until a few days later. I always tend to get immediate answers, as if I'm talking to a friend. But if I desperately want a response, I have to wait until I am calm and connected.

+ Look for Signs

This is another fun thing I like to do when I'm driving. I'll be like "Yo Universe! Can you give me a sign about this." And I won't actively look but something will stand out to me more than usual. I might have seen it a million times but this time in particular there's something on it I need to see and I get my answer.


When I was first starting out, it took a little practice but very quickly it becomes second nature and you can do it whenever you want. Just another muscle to work out :P

Elise xo