How to Create A Life You Friggin' Love!

Over the last few months I have been experimenting with different methods and practices to see what would happen to my life when I added these new ways of being.

I didn't really expect much to change, maybe a slight mood boost but that was about it. Little did I know how dramatic the results would be and how different I would feel.

Let's just say I am (finally) well on my way to creating a life I friggin' love.

I figured this advice may come in handy for you also so by all means, take these strategies and play with them!

How to Create a Life You Friggin' Love

Cut your BS & start doing the things you keep putting off: It's seriously like I was just waiting, waiting, waiting for something to happen so that I could go forth and finally live the life I'd always wanted.

Except that waiting gets you nowhere. Like waiting to get promoted, waiting to get proposed to or waiting to start writing again. It just doesn't happen without action mate. If there's something you want you gotta make some steps (even if they're mini) towards it.

I have wanted to get back into sewing and crafting for MONTHS but kept putting it off for later as there were more important things to do like browse the web...... When I finally stopped making up excuses and sat my ass down to the sewing machine, I had so much fun!


Allow yourself to have what you really want: I went on a MAD shopping spree and rather than buying clothes that I kinda liked but bought because they were super cheap, I decided not to look at the price and instead go from first appearances.

If I saw something that made me gasp and think, "Oh. my. god. I LOVE that!!!", then I had to try that on! Don't get me wrong, it was super challenging to switch from cheapo wait-till-I'm-rich-and-hot mode. And some of the things I loved were damn pricey, but I shrugged it off and said 'If I can't afford it now I'll save for it because I am worth it'.

When I owned that statement my 'feel good' levels raised dramatically! I was so used to playing small with my clothing that making that one little shift changed my whole vibration, permanently!


Change your environment: There's a wonderful quote I heard my girl Sarah Jenks say and it goes, "One of the best ways to change your life is to change your environment. And this changes you." (click to tweet).

I changed my usual routine of, wake up, eat breakfast, work, work, work, have dinner, watch some fave shows, bed, to, wake up, green smoothie, meditation, a little work, nature walk, a little more work, play time, some work again, dinner, relax, read, bath, bed.

My whole energy and presence changed, it was literally like I was living a whole new life. I felt so damn good about my days because i was doing something different! You see, I don't think we're meant to do the same thing day in and day out for long periods of time. I think we have to change our routines regularly so we don't wind up becoming like caged animals. After years of being held in captivity you see their spirits die and they lose the fight in their eyes.


Get clear like a psychic: It's like visualizing in High Definition. Everything is crystal-fricken-clear. Think about it, when you've been vague and unclear, you usually get vague and unclear results back.

Like that time you told that guy you kinda might like him and expected him to declare his undying love for you but instead he responded really awkwardly and you left the conversation not knowing if it was a good sign or a bad sign. I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

You need to know what you want, what you really want. Not what you think is enough, nor what others say you should want. Get clear and then embody it, cement it to you and then drop it.

It's not our job to keep reminding the universe what we ordered, It's our job to know who we really are and what we really want and go about our lives. The universe has got your back and the least amount of resistance you have to what you want, the better.


Talk to the universe: I used to worry that I was bothering the universe when I was asking for things. I somehow got it into my head that you ask for what you want and no more because the universe has got bigger things to worry about. I seriously have no idea where that belief came from, but it was there.

I decided one night that I'd just talk to the universe (you can do it in your mind or out loud) and just chatted about random stuff like what I'm getting up to today and how bad I need a haircut. And what I found was that the more I talked to it, the more the universe became like a friend. It's like we got to know each other.

The universe was no longer this busy working man strapped for time but an actual friend I could joke around with. When that happened, manifesting things became easier and things felt more flowing.

The universe is just another way to describe you and your source/infinite intelligence. What you're actually doing is cultivating a relationship with yourself, your befriending yourself and therefore you are able to drop blocks you have with yourself which let's the manifesting process slip right through the gap. Pretty cool huh?


In the comments below, I’d love to hear which strategy you're gonna take on and how you feel about it!

How to Let Go of the Drama & Become a Lioness (Interview with Kayla Ramsay)

OMG, I'm crazy excited for today's Girl Power series post! You know why? Because I am interview a fellow KIWI!!!! Yes, another New Zealand who is on the path of self improvement! It's like a found a new sister in my homeland, awwww.

Her name is Kayla Ramsay and she is one to watch. She writes the most beautiful poetry I've ever read. And she has that spark, that something that tells you without words that she's going places. Welcome Kayla!

1) Since discovering you I have become OBSESSED with your work. You write the most beautiful poetry I've read in a loooooong time & your writing is like a decadent truffle. Needless to say, I love you. Tell us what made you start writing?

Thanks Elise! I’ve been writing stories since I was old enough to hold a pencil. They were always highly imaginative but as I got older, the topics got darker and darker. I stopped writing when I was about 20 because I hadn’t yet learned to embrace or accept the pain that came out in my words.

In January of this year, I knew it was time for me to start writing again, but I didn’t know where to start. One night as I was lying awake in bed, the title of my book came to me. As soon as I had the title, the rest of the book followed all at once. I had to dictate it into my phone. The funny thing is that the book involves the retelling and reframing of the stories I wrote when I was younger. It almost feels as though the book was already decided before I was born.

I think I feel compelled to write because it’s how I make sense of things. Having dyspraxia means I not only think in quite an obsessive, detailed way, but I’m also unable to grasp any of those thoughts. It’s kind of like a having a room filled with butterflies, and trying to count or group them into categories. I have to pin them down in word form, so I can create order.

The other reason is because I feel things so intensely. If I don’t write them down, I feel like I’ll combust. My poetry is like short bursts of steam – ideal for when I’m too fired up and impatient to write it all down in a lengthy way! 

In summary, I do it because it's the only thing I want to do. Because writing can fill my heart, and my heart can fill the page.

2) You've overcome such adversity in your life, what were some of the key turning points that made you decide to change? 

If I really look back, I’ve had countless turning points. Despite my main struggle being with self-loathing, I’ve always fought for my own right to happiness. I was 12 when I first asked my parents to take me to a counsellor. Since then I have actively sought help through all means possible. I saw more than a dozen professionals and even completed a psychology degree.

The reason these interventions never “worked” was because recovery was not my lesson. Every time I became well I was struck down by another challenge – whether it was physical illness, mental illness or some kind of trauma. I was being given the same lesson over and over again because I wasn’t learning it; and that lesson was that recovery is not a permanent thing. Pain is as much a part of life as joy and when you can come to embrace and accept it, then and only then can you find peace.

3) What would be your biggest tip(s) for someone going through something similar?

Remember all the best things are born out of darkness. Every star starts out as a murky cloud of interstellar dust but when the heat is turned up and the pressure increases, it explodes into a massive, luminous sphere. 

Have hope when things are at their worst - it's a sign that something far better is to come. You're not having a breakdown, you're having a breakthrough. Just ride it out.

4) What are 5 habits you believe every woman in the world should learn to adapt?

1. Learn to breathe out the pain: We women go through a lot of pain in our lives. Pain can bring with it trauma and suffering or healing and learning – but if you can use it instead of resist it, you can make it a more positive, transformative experience.
2. Understand that love is always the answer: Learn to forgive others unconditionally. Respond to anger with love. Respond to hatred with love. By doing so you’re healing both yourself and others.
3. Realise that loving someone unconditionally means you don’t need them to love you back.
4. Know that you are a Lioness: Female energy is not a softness but a strength, and that strength is infinite.
5. Help yourself, then others: You can't take care of others unless you take care of yourself first. Self-nurturing is not a selfish act.

5) What is the best piece of wisdom you've ever heard?

I usually receive the right wisdom at the right time. I love when people give it to me straight; a good friend told me a few months back, “let go of the drama” and that was just what I needed to hear! But if I was going to stick to one piece of advice it would be to trust your own instinct and never hand over your power. Grace won’t take you where you can’t walk; if you’re faced with a challenge, you can handle it. Step up and stand up for yourself.

6) What's your advice for someone who is ready to give up and revert back to their old habits?

Self-talk. We’ve got a number of guiding voices within ourselves and sometimes we just need to call upon the right one. What you need in this case is the compassionate but firm version of you. The one who says, “You’re better than this. Remember?” Have a conversation with them. Let them do the talking. Bring back that sense of your own empowerment.

7) What do you love to do on days you don't feel so great?

I usually meditate and just ride it out because I’m probably going through some sort of necessary process. If the blues stick around for too long then I’ll call upon a few tricks like waking up to watch the sunrise, listening to music, dancing, singing or exercising.

8) Who and what inspires you every day?

I find my best inspiration in nature. If you sit outdoors and just watch the plants, bugs and animals for a while, you’ll learn a lot from them. Things don’t have to be as complicated as we like to make them!

9) What's something BIG you wanna manifest and why?

I’ve learned that making wishes for my life is a bit like trying to paint a picture when I can only see 5% of the palette. I prefer to trust that I’m part of a plan more perfect than I can imagine, and allow myself to be as willing a participant as possible. So instead of manifesting, I see my goals and ambitions as part of an open conversation with the universe. Currently we’re in discussions about me publishing my book, buying a house in the country and running an animal rehabilitation centre!

10) What are your favourite things to do on a rainy day?

The sound of the rain is so soothing, so days like this are a great excuse to unwind. Have you ever noticed how otherwise energetic animals always (or only) sleep on rainy days? It’s almost like you have no choice but to hibernate. It's a good time to rest.

Is Your Relationship A Train-Wreck?

Once a year I like to watch one of my favourite movies of all time and absolutely ball my eyes out. The movie I speak of is called P.S I love you. I think you may have heard of it?

It's that movie that makes us book the next flight to Ireland in search of any man that looks like Gerard Butler and Jeffrey Dean Morgan to sweep us off our feet. Drool. Coincidentally my boyfriend just so happens to be tall, dark, sexy as hell, Irish and handsome. Jackpot baby!

But as much as we'd LOVE to have a relationship as profound as Holly's and Gerry's, the painful truth is that relationships don't just happen like that.

My early 20s conversations with my girlfriends were a mixtape of how miserable I was being in love with somebody who didn't love me back, how much I knew he was it or how if I just did this or said that or declared this, everything would change.

Needless to say my love life was a train-wreck.

Not long ago when I felt the fear of losing my current relationship due to my own insecurity (again), I had only two options.

1) Let the fear barrage through me & lose my relationship.

2) Ignore my habituated victim-mode, grab the reins & take action.

Can you tell which option I took?

Instead of crying myself to sleep, asking my boyfriend if he really loved me for the millionth time and picturing ways I would get back at him for "hurting me", I did the unthinkable. I went out and got a life.

I took the bull by it's balls and I got my ass to work. I declared to myself that there was no way in HELL I was gonna lose this relationship to the same self-sabotaging pattern again! The only way that would happen is if someone cheats, comes out of the closet or dies because this relationship was NOT ending because I was too needy.

So I googled every fear I had and ways to overcome it, I read a ton of books on love, sex and relationships, I sought out counseling, I joined a tennis club, I signed up to dance classes, I auditioned for a theatre show and I hung out with my friends more often.

And you know what getting a life did to my relationship? It made it f**king solid. We became closer, more intimate, more free with each other and best of all eliminated ALL neediness. Victory! Now we are happier, stronger and more in love than ever!

I turned my fear and my insecurity into a f**king EPIC love story. I took control and I changed my fate.

Is your relationship heading down a similar path? Or is it already a train-wreck? Ask yourself:

How can I take back the reins and turn my relationship into a f**king EPIC love story?

You deserve an AMAZING relationship filled with so much love, you have the power to change it into something OUTSTANDING, so no more depriving yourself of that okay?

If you're craving connection, join that book club and make some new friends. If you're pining for companionship, volunteer at an animal shelter. If you're missing familiarity, create a new boundary of comfortable. And if you're longing for excitement, dust off your bucket list and go and explore the world.

Now it's your turn: In the comments below, tell me one thing you're gonna do to start making your relationship an EPIC love story. I can't wait to hear your ideas!

How To Glitter Bomb Your Life With Love (Interview with Eyenie Schultz)

Argh! It's excitement all around! You know why? Because this week on Girl Power series I've got one of my fave self-improvement babes ready to dish to you her best kept secrets! Her name is Eyenie, (Ikr right, AMAZEBALLS name!), she lives in Paris, (my dream!) and she is hosting her very first retreat (something I want to do in the near future!) in Costa Rica!!!

Um can I say girl-crush right now?

In this interview you will learn how to start creating positive (glitter love bomb) change in your life and how to bust out of a funk. You'll also discover why mindset and beauty play important factors in creating a life you love and a crazy awesome tool that'll help manifest the things you want.

You are the fun and loving creator of Lucid Musing where you help unicorns believe in themselves, what made you venture down this path?

First, I want to say how effing excited and honored I am to be doing this interview with you Elise! (Teehee! Thanx Eyenie!x)

Here goes…

Oy vey, it’s a looooong story as you can imagine, but I’ll give you the nitty gritty. It’s funny because now when I look back on it, it’s as if I awakened from this intense trance or something…

I grew up being the good girl, dutiful daughter and rule follower because I sought approval and praise and accolades and high-fives to satisfy my ego. I did “everything I was supposed to do”—and it made me feel inadequate, unworthy, ugly, and like a freak show. It kept me frozen in my tracks.

I’ve always had this intense need to show other people how amazing and beautiful they are—to dazzle people by highlighting what’s best about them. I didn’t know what to do with that, and I had no idea that doing anything with it was even an option!

After years of corporate work and crying in my cubicle or in the hall on my way to the bathroom singing Bjork’s “There’s More to Life Than This”, I realized that I wanted…no, YEARNED to be a life coach! The idea scared the frick frack crapola out of me, and I was frozen, not wanting to take action, so I just hung out knowing that I really wanted to do this amazing work, but kept on plugging away at the “should”…

It hurts my guts to see other women totally missing out on their beauty and WOWness…everything that makes them magical unicorns! My mission with LucidMusing is to help women see how beautiful, dreamy, crushworthy, strong they are so they can go after what they want in life. Every woman is a magical unicorn, but so many of them don’t know it….

What inspired you to start teaching your message?

When I found out I was pregnant, I experienced a deep shift in my mindset. I realized that I wanted to be a bright-n-shiny example of “YES! YOU CAN LIVE YOUR DREAM!” and “YOU CREATE YOUR REALITY!” and “YOU CAN MAKE MONEY BY DOING WHAT YOU LOVE AND BEING OF SERVICE!” for my tiny human.

So, I grabbed my, well, proverbial cojones, and signed up to get my life coaching certification. Voila, the rest has been a result of that first mega important step!

Every single woman has amazing magical powers, beauty, strength, passion to be lived…and when I see them stuck like I used to be, feeling inadequate and/or seeking approval instead of doing what makes them gush with joy and giddiness, my first instinct is to show them all the WOW things they have going for them so that they can start truly living their lives, loving themselves and rocking all they have to rock with Technicolor confidence!

What do you believe is an important factor to creating an awesome life?

Well, I have two HUGE ones: First is MINDSET and paying attention to the thoughts that are keeping you from living vibrantly, happily.

If you lug around the mindset, “I’m not enough and life is hard!” then that’s the reality you create for yourself. When you shift this to, “I am perfectly me and I live every day with flow and ease!” it seriously is a game-changer!! YAY!

The second thing is BEAUTY. Focus on it, create more of it, see it in yourself and in others, give it away, feel it, touch it, smell it, be grateful for it. The more you do all of this, the more beauty you will float in, and the happier and more confident you will feel!

Do you have a daily ritual you like to do? If so, what are some things you do each day?

Girl, you know I do! My routine varies a little, but essentially I eat a lovely breakfast including a crazy juice mix (whatever I have available, in it goes along with some chia, ginger, flax seeds, cinnamon and loads of greens!) I often put on some music in the background to make it an event and set the tone for the day.

Then I do some meditating to open my heart and connect to the Earth and to the Universe/Source/Kosmos/God and set the intention for the day, like, “Today I am productive, but give myself space for fun!” I move my body to shake out any negative or yucky stuff. Most mornings I write a few declarations in my manifestation journal and/or spend a few minutes repeating some of the lovely things I would like to invite into my life.

Oh! And I always light a candle and some incense (I’m hooked on coconut scented lately, it is simply wowy zowy!!!!) Recently, I started doing exercise again, so after that about 20-minute experience, I do some kick-ass cardio or interval training. Voila!

What are your tips for someone who wants to start making positive change in their lives?

If you are truly ready to make change, the first thing you can do is accept that all things that are out of your circle of control (anything that is not decided/done/undone by you directly) is the way it is, and you cannot change it. Woooh, I even have to take a breath after that because it’s big.

Certain things, circumstances, people simply will not change, so why spend so much of your time, energy and mental space worrying about it? Just release it and know it is perfect as it is.

The second thing I would recommend is really focusing on today. The past happened, and the future is ahead, and that’s great, but what can you do *today* to make your existence a more pleasant one?

Instead of buying fast food and eating in your car thinking about how much your job sucks (I’ve been guilty of that, so I ain’t judgin’!), buy a salad, and take your headphones to eat at a nearby park and think of everything that *is* going right in your life. It’s these tiny experiences that actually make up the whole of your life!

Sometimes we don't feel so fantastic, what are some of your tips to help get out of the funkiness?

When we feel icky, many times the first thing we want to do is just lie down, eat bad stuff and watch TV.

We mope and it feels like our body can barely keep itself up! An easy peasy and really effective fix for this is to MOVE! Put on a song that you find irresistible to dance to, and make yourself stand up and start dancing. Once you get over the whole, “but I don’t feel like dancing”, the song’ll getcha, and you’ll get your groove on.

Make sure to jump and shake out your hands and legs to move any stuck energy around. If you don’t have music available, jump up and down shaking your arms and legs and throw some hip swivels in if you can. Another thing that works like magic is taking like 2 minutes to list 10 or 15 things that you are grateful for, that make you feel abundant, and that are good in your life.

They can be really mega simple, like, breakfast was delicious this morning, my neighbor told me my hair looks nice, the flowers I bought smell delightful. It shifts your focus and cures yuckiness stat!

What are your 5 FAAAAAAVE things to do on a mellow day?

Ooooh! Let me think, you good question-asker! I’m imagining this mellow day as rainy..

Here’s my list in no particular order:

1. Craft! I love to make things out of scraps and what may seem to be junk. The hot glue gun is my pal. We go way back.
2. Read and write.
3. Play with my tiny dancer.
4. Have a spontaneous dance party or magical meal (candles, music, even dress up sometimes)
5. Go on a dreamy enchanted forest/river/urban paradise walk

What's a magically amazing thing that has happened to you in your life?

Right after college I decided I wanted to work and live in France for a year. I bought my plane ticket and committed to sharing an apartment with a friend even though I had no idea where I would work, or how I would get my visa to stay for an entire year. I contacted the US Embassy in Paris to see if they had any jobs I could apply for, and they had nothing. Also, I had no money to take with me.

It was one week before I was supposed to leave for a year, and I was, uh, freaking out! No job lined up in France, no visa, no mula. Yowzers. So, I decided to chant like nobody’s business. I did it every single day, multiple times believing that I would magically get a visa, a job and money and that everything would be ok. Three days before my departure, I got an unexpected and beyond generous check in the mail from an old high school teacher as a college graduation gift—I was stunned and sooo grateful. A total shocker. Money—check!

Then, a couple days later I received an email about a job as an assistant that would allow me to apply for my work visa. It came from someone who I would have never thought to ask. Job—check! I contacted the embassy to let them know I had a job, and the employee said that even though I had a job lined up, it would take at least a month to process the paperwork for my visa…OH NO! A frick frack month? I was panicking because I had no money to change my ticket and would need to send my friend rent for the apartment.

I’m not sure why, but she called me later that day and said that she had called in a favor and would process my visa THE SAME DAY and overnight it to me. I got it the morning of my flight!!! Visa—check!!!! It worked out beautifully because I stopped and just believed (while taking inspired action, of course!) Manifestation at its finest! Toots, I still get goose-bumps just thinking about it!

Where is your favourite place to go in the world and why?

My grandparents’ house in Mexico City. I would go there every summer when I was a little kid.

There was always singing, dancing, piano playing, dress up! My grandmother is the one who taught me all about showing others how to see and showcase their beauty. She also taught me about manifesting and believing that anything is possible as well as making the moment as pleasant as possible.

 I remember there was a hammock outside in the backyard, and I used to swing on it and would imagine swinging so high that I’d shoot up to the sky and start flying. It’s still an overall magical, creative place for me.

What are 5 essential habits/beliefs you believe women should adapt in their lives?

Man alive, this is a good one! Here goes:

1. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Find a word that means “beautiful” to you, and OWN IT! It doesn’t matter if you’re not “perfect” or if you think you don’t meet someone’s expectations—all that matters is what YOU think!!! Seriously!
2. Make decisions + take action from a space of LOVE not FEAR. Love for yourself, others, life… When we do things based on fear, the outcome ain’t pretty! We end up doing things that don’t feel good, and that can get messy and mucked up. Acting from LOVE can be difficult at first, but it’s wonderful for your confidence, self-love and overall happy dappy living.
3. Kick negative self-talk to the curb. Pay attention to yucky thoughts you have repeatedly that make you feel like crapola, and replace them and breath. They aren’t “real” or “true”…but they make you react and live as if they were. Choose positive, uplifting, kick-ass motivating thoughts that make you feel lovely and all “hell yeah!” instead!
4. Be grateful! Look around you every live long day and make note of all the dreamy, floaty, wow in your life! If you can keep it logged in a gratitude jar or journal, all the better for easy reference when you’re having a yuck day or moment.
5. Send glitter bombs of love. When you want to talk smack about or to someone, or when you find yourself annoyed, send the person (or yourself!) a blessing and some light instead! You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel about the world and yourself.
6. BONUS!! I just couldn’t resist this one because it is SO important! Remember to HAVE FUN!! It’s sacred and vital to a happy and healthy life! Make room for it in your agenda, seek it out, create it, invoke and invite it in, say yes to it! FUN is just as important as being productive, working, honoring your commitments, etc. So off you go to have some!!!

YAY!!