Oct 31, 2012

21 Ways to Give Selflessly (Without Feeling Crap & Going Broke)

Selfless Giving - Donate Your Teddy!

The joy of giving is really just that - joy. But some of us can get so hung up on 'I don't have enough to give!!!' part and turn it into an awful process.

We can get SO attached to our time, our emotions and our dollars we just don't wanna give any of it up! And then when we do we feel shittier than a toddler who just had his toy truck taken off him.

Which if you didn't know this, DEFEATS THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF GIVING.

Remember having only $20 in your bank account and you meet your bestie for coffee and she accidentally forgets her wallet so you have to fork out for a second coffee and rather than feeling awesome and saying "No probs!", you feel shite, it ruins your mood and now you're stressing how your gonna last the next 4 days on $10?

Why, oh why the hell do we feel like this? Well that I can answer because I have tooootes been there!

It's fear. Fear that we won't have enough, fear that we'll run out and fear that it's a big waste.

Well my friend, you need to know these are just limiting/negative beliefs because we all know that when you give from a place of love and selflessness (not lack and scarcity) it comes back to us a BILLIONFOLD!!!

For example, a long time ago I wanted to donate to my first charity and I was stressing that I wouldn't have enough afterwards but I had a chat to myself and decided to give love (however little it was). I thought about the good that I was doing and the possibilities of what that little contribution could do and I felt a bit better so I hit the 'donate' button!

Literally the next day I won a competition on twitter for the exact same amount! RIDDLE ME THAT!

Give Selflessly - Give Love

So if you're still in that emerging stage of "I'm worried but I want to do good" here are some awesome suggestions of how to give more and do good deeds without feeling crap afterwards! Baby steps!

21 Ways to Give Selflessly & Do Good Deeds

+ Have a bake sale and fundraise for a cause or charity i.e Breast Cancer Foundation

+ Donate your time to the local swimming center or sport center

+ Volunteer at a homeless or animal shelter

+ Go on a loose change hunt round the house & car and donate your findings to your fave charity

+ Send postcards to the people you love

+ Donate some canned food to the city mission

+ Sponsor a child in Africa, Kenya, Russia etc

+ Meditate on sending love to those in need

+ Hold a free car wash event

+ Offer your talented skill-set for free

+ Smile genuinely at every person you see for a day

+ Listen intently to someone talk without judgement

How to give more

+ Give your fave teddy to a child in need at the children's hospital

+ Shout your bestie a coffee!

+ Pick some flowers and give them to your beau, boss, mum or a stranger

+ Declutter your wardrobe and give your clothes to charity

+ Join a big brother/big sister program

+ Volunteer your time towards a fundraising charity event i.e 40hr circuit-athons!

+ Offer to help a friend move or pack

+ Do the gardening for your grandma or next door neighbour

+ Go to your parents house, clean it, leave them fresh flowers and a note saying 'I love you!'


See, that's TOTES doable ain't it? :P

Love ya!
Elise xo

P.S - Don't forget to take the survey bout the Inner Vibrance Project! I've been getting some awesome responses!

Oct 25, 2012

Does Your Label of Yourself Match Your Purpose?

After the mammoth weekend of wedding bells, family and toomanydrinksfoodcakeomg!! I have taken today to just relax and catch up on some reading - blog reading obviously cause I'm uber cool like that.

Change your label, align with your Purpose


Anyway, I was reading Denise Duffield-Thomas' blog and one of her posts got me thinking about our values and opinions of ourselves and what we label ourselves as.

I thought to myself 'What if we have a particular label for ourselves and that current label we have doesn't match our passions, purpose or desires?'. For an example, say your dream is to become an oscar winning actress, but your self confidence and esteem is suuuuuuuuuper low. While you have these BIG DREAMS, your label is actually 'I'm not worthy'.

Shit.

What to do!?

Find your label.
Well, before you can "fix" what's going wrong, you need to find out what it is that's "wrong".

You already know what it is you're meant to do, you have a passion, a dream, a desire, a big goal, BUT, something feels STUCK. Maybe you're always coming second best or you allllways wind up working with the wrong people. Your job right now is to uncover what the duck you're labelling yourself!

You find this out by monitoring how you feel and what you think when you're thinking about your purpose. i.e if you wanna be a life coach and you're thinking about courses you want to do to learn how to be a lifecoach and suddenly up pops the thought of, shit what if I'm too young to be a life coach? You've just labelled yourself as incapable and inadequate.

Boooooooooo.

But great (lol), now we've found your label, here's how to change it!

Find a new word.
Wha...huh?

If you've read or seen Eat Pray Love, you'll know what I mean.

If you haven't, it's super simple. Find a new word to label yourself as.

It's so simple but SO effective. I'm sure you've heard about the frequency of words right? Well each positive word has a high frequency and every negative word has a low frequency. It's actually legit.

So imagine what happens to your mind, body and spirit when you switch from the negative label/word you've been using to a positive word...

Your health starts improving, your brain starts growing new powerful brain cells, your thinking changes, your energy changes, you attract positive, inspiring, genuine people, your get more energy, your eating changes, opportunities come in and suddenly you're aligned and ON PURPOSE.

All from a simple change of YOUR word.

So the question is, does your label match your purpose or do you need to find a new word?

Oct 23, 2012

How to Find Your Purpose & Do What You Love

How to find your purpose and do what you love

"So what do you do?"

"Oh..... I work at, um........ Starbucks..." (ashamed)

Ever had this type of conversation at a party, wedding, social gathering, event, conversation, meeting, class, conference, family event etc and felt absolute shit afterwards?

Oh how I KNOW you have!

Why is it that we feel so damn ashamed of what we do?! Obviously we believe that what we do isn't good enough. There is so much fear and self-worth tied up into that one little conversation it's ridonkulous.

A lot of the reasons why people feel ashamed of what they do is because they don't do what they love OR they don't know what it is that they want to do with their life! So they spend their time giving the best years of their life to soul-sucking jobs for that (average) weekly pay check.

This my darlings is not living.

To live a passionate purposeful life and do what you love you have to be willing to step outside of that comfort zone you've carefully decorated.

I know it's scary as shit but working at starbucks for the next 7 years when you've always wanted to be a dancer is scarier.

Even if you don't know what you want, you know enough to know that you do not wanna be exactly where you are. So in actual fact you do have somewhat of an idea where you'd like to be because it sure as hell aint here.

No more okay?

Let's get passionate!

To start yourself off on the path of finding purpose, you've gotta offer a little diligence on your part.

7 Steps to Finding Your Purpose

Commit to Yourself

Before you even start, you gotta make a pact with yourself. A pact that no matter what, you will do whatever it takes to get you out of where you are to where you wanna be. Be your own VIP and treat yourself like one. Have standards, know your values and never settle for anything less.

Make a List

Sit down and make a list of every single thing you have ever wanted to do and everything you want to do. Even the most silliest things like being a tortoise. From this list you'll have a certain level of feelings towards each thing. We're gonna work with the things that pique your interest the most.

Get Negative

Say whaaaat?? Just hear me out. Of the things that interest you the most, now you need to write a list of everything negative to do with it. Say you've put up 'win an oscar' and the negative things that come up for you are 'I'll need to attend a lot of acting classes, move to LA, you need to be talented and beautiful, how could I ever win one of these?'. The purpose of this is to see where your fears and limiting beliefs are so we can work them out.

Forgiveness

Release your old negative beliefs with forgiveness. Go through your negative list as often as you can and use forgiveness affirmations on yourself. Something like "I release you, I forgive you, I love you". The important thing here is to feel it more than anything.

Make Room

Time to clear some space physically and emotionally. Do a huge spring clean of your house, get lethal with your wardrobe (do you really need those 10 pairs of heels in the same colour?). Sell your stuff online and put the money towards your new purpose/passion, donate some of your things to charity, have a garage sale. Emotionally, become mindful of yourself when you get emotional about things. You'll notice you'll have a habit of getting emo about particular things i.e me with my partners clothing all over the floor (ARGH!) Oh and, you gotta say bye-bye to the people who suck the life outta you. Make room for the new 'on purpose' you!

Get Obsessed with Positivity

Chase it, hold on to it, seek it out. Find any reason to stay positive. Read books, hang around positive people, watch inspiring tv shows, learn about new things that excite you. Feed your mind with positivity and your life will change.

Enjoy Now

The number 1 way to find your purpose? Appreciate where you are. Get grateful, give love and be thankful for everything you've had, have and are going to have.

Finding Purpose in Life

By now you should get what we're doing right? You can't figure out your purpose sitting on the couch at home all day waiting for the inspiration. You must take some action! Even the smallest amount of action is enough to provoke an idea from within you.

That's exactly what happened with me and this blog. At the beginning of the year - heck even in June - I had NO IDEA that I was going to start The Inner Vibrance Project! Then one day I came across a website which got me all inspired (Marie Forleo if anyone wants to know!) and I decided to do some of the exercises and hey you know what? Ideas started to form and slowly but surely came the idea for The Inner Vibrance Project!

Little did I know how quick the blog would grow!

All that grew from a singular tiny bit of inspiration.

Imagine what you can do?

Oct 10, 2012

The Secret to Living a Vibrant Life


Hello my darlings, today I have a SUUUUUPER something special for you!

My lovely friend Nige has written a guest post for you that is about the secret to living a vibrant life. Nige is a personal trainer (a damn awesome personal trainer!) and in his post he ties in women's relationships with food + self love + happiness. So I think it's a perfect match for last week and this weeks topics - Body Love & Happiness.

Please give a warm welcome to Nige........ *clapclapclap*

Women + Food + Body + Self Love + Happiness

There is an individual and collective mind virus sweeping through the western world at this current time that is leaving people paralysed with fear.

It’s called the Denial Virus.

Where I see the denial virus so prevalent is in my work with women, food and their relationships with their bodies.

Now, as a self-confessed kick ass personal trainer, I don’t always deliver a message that people want to hear. In fact, I sometimes get people’s backs up because I have the courage to speak out, breaking the cultural and societal taboos that say for example that we can‘t talk about women being overweight, that you're entitled to treat yourself to cake and biccies on a daily basis, and that it‘s perfectly acceptable for you to hump around far more weight than you ideally need to be.

Obesity is at an all time high, with children as young as two years old being classified as obese, yet we still continue to sweep the issue under the carpet like it’s just something that happens to other people, but not you.

The humongous slice of chocci cake, the sneaky mocha, the generous handful of potato chips, the naughty treat - they all add up. These seemingly insignificant choices quickly gather momentum and speed. Before you know it, you’ve been into three different patisseries, munching calorific goodies along the way… each one building on the next until finally you reach destination fatsville! I’m referring to sugar of the table variety that they often add to biccies, choccy, cakes, ice cream and fizzy drinks - the one that leaves you feeling sexy and free one minute and like a zombie the next.

New girl - women - weight loss - food relationship

It saddens me to see you doing this to yourself day after day, because I know that all this comfort eating keeps you from addressing a deeper wound - a childhood wound. Unfortunately, while we continue to avoid the issue, choosing instead to go about our day plastering over the cracks with sugary foods in the secret hope that someone will wave a magic wand and make it all go away.

It doesn't. The crazy cycle lives on.

What started out as an act of self love quickly spirals into a act of self sabotage.

When you eat to comfort yourself you are really hurting yourself.

I repeat: When you eat to comfort yourself you are really hurting yourself.

If these words hit you square in the stomach, perhaps its time you listened to your body, your intuition and that still, small voice - the one that’s whispering to have the green tea instead of the hot chocolate.

The bottom line is this: sugar addiction is utterly lethal. You can defend it till the cows come home but the fact remains that it is as addictive as crack cocaine and until you say no to it, you will continue to feel irritable, edgy and tired.

So, the purpose of this article is to help shine a light on how you can overcome this fear based addiction once and for all and take the positive action that is necessary to help you make lasting change to the way you think feel and look.

The first step to untangling this mess and feeling comfortable in your own skin is to first allow yourself to be where you are with all your flaws. I suggest that you stop whatever it is you are doing and take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror - not just a passing glance but a long, hard look. This is a sober moment between you and the reflection you see staring back at you. I want you to stop fighting with yourself, lay down your arms and surrender. Be where you are without doing anything. Just be with you.

When you look, ask yourself the following question: ”Can I honestly say, hand on heart, that I am entirely happy with the way I look and feel and with what I’m putting into my body on a daily basis?”

You don’t have to hide from the answer. Awareness, after all, is the first step to creating long-lasting change.

Women Body Love Food Relationship

I encourage you to take a moment and no matter what you see, let yourself grieve for the part of you that seems like a distant memory. Beneath this apparent craving for sugar is a wounded girl who believes she is unlovable. Her deeper craving is for acknowledgement and love. You have to find the inner strength to reassure her and let her know that she is lovable and then do whatever it is that will help you take a step towards her rather than away from her.

Treat yourself with kindness, not food. Hold yourself. Then muster up all your courage that from this day forward, decide that you will do things differently - starting right now. Declare that you will take better care of yourself. No more excuses - it’s time to take action. Stopping sugar is one of the two most important things you can do in this life. The other is starting to train. This will lead you to a life that is lean, strong and vibrant.

Living a healthier lifestyle is a journey - when you first 'get clean', you may crave the sweet stuff but I just want to reassure you that it will pass - it's just a thought, and you don’t have to act on it.

Remember, the point of power is always in the present moment. You may stumble and fall but what really matters is how quickly you get back up and back on track. Breathe, relax, remind yourself that you are safe and loved and then make a healthier choice - one that is better suited to where you want to go.

It’s the small positive daily changes that we make to the way we think, eat and train that make all the difference. So, if you really want to see long lasting changes in the way you think, feel and look then you have to stop putting yourself last and start telling yourself that you matter.

The next time you are about to reach for the double choc chip muffin, stop yourself dead in your tracks - empower yourself, take a breath and watch your thoughts because it is only by doing this that you will free yourself from the clutches of the sugar monster. Facing your fears head-on is always empowering because there is only love waiting on the other side.

The most vibrant people I know have something in common. They are a pretty inspiring bunch, gentle yet brave, courageous yet surrendered, committed yet flexible, passionate yet receptive. These people don’t make excuses or justify why their lives are the way they are. They know that their lives are created from the inside out, and that creating inner vibrance is their number one priority.

The particular people I’m thinking of also have this in common: They don’t do refined sugar.

I wonder what you will choose today?

Love, Supernige


Super Nige - Nigel Atkinson - Kick Ass Fridays

Biography: Nige's life is a rich tapestry of incredible stories that have shaped him as a trainer, an athlete and a man. He offers something as powerful as it is unique - personal fitness training, online courses and ebooks that will give you far more than just a transformed physique: he will give you your life back. He is also the creator of the motivational free weekly newsletter Kick A$$ Fridays.



[SIDENOTE: Wowwee! What an inspiring slap-in-the-face (but with love & kindness) post that was! I hope you got as much out of it as I did, and remember, all it takes to change is taking one small step in a different direction every day. Make sure to sign up to Nige's kick ass fridays newsletter - it is packed with incredible advice! Elise xo]

Oct 8, 2012

How to Find Happiness & Make It Stay

How to find Happiness is a Perfume

I feel like a lot of people think in order to find true happiness they must go on this quest to find it (somewhere in the Himalayas probably... yeah it's definitely in the Himalayas..) or they feel they've got to spend years of studying the patterns of the universe and only then will you achieve ultimate enlightenment to actually get a smidgen of unwavering happiness.

Yeah... no way.

In a way I think we like to idealize happiness as if everything will be better once we're happy, but there's this part of us deep within our souls (whom we neeeeeever show to anyone) that, dare I say it, actually likes to be unhappy.

I mean, I understand it. Unhappiness/misery/negativity - that shit is like a drug. It's so addictive to jump on the bitching squad than it is to switch off and go read Who Moved my Cheese!

So the real question is, What little steps can I take today that will improve how I feel?

And this my darling, is the right question.

If you want to find true happiness and make it stay, it doesn't take years of study and application. All it takes is one little step each day.

How to Find Happiness & Make It Stay

Take a good solid hour to ask yourself and write down these questions. Really take some time to think about the.

  • What are the things that make you feel good? 
  • What brings you a lot of joy and fun?
  • What do you feel energizes you?
  • What makes you feel complete?
  • What doesn't make you feel good? 
  • What makes you feel frustration, anger and boredom?
  • What are ways you can start changing feeling bad today?

The point of this is to find what it is that lights you up, what doesn't and small actionable steps you can take each day towards being happier.

If you're still hungry for more info, check out The Happiness Project and this article 'Is the pursuit of happiness a bunch of bullshit?' by Gala Darling.



Happy Monday Lovely!
Elise xo
 
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